Annoyance vs. Exuberance

I really hate the force that is "The WalMart". Yes, a "The" in front of the name is totally warranted as WalMart is an entity so powerful that very few can resist. I hate that I keep going back to The Walmart. I curse it every time. But, we just absolutely can not beat the prices so we continue to go back.

I had to go there this morning to return something and pick up a few items. Even pulling in the parking lot annoys me. The customers there don't know how to drive or park or yield to pedestrians. I'm always afraid that once I step out of the car that someone will either snatch my purse or abduct me. I keep my eyes straight ahead, my purse tight to my side, my list firmly in hand, and my elbows primed to jab anyone who gets in my way.

Since I am such a begrudgingly loyal customer of The WalMart, I pretty much know the place like the back of my hand. I have a pattern that I follow almost every time I'm there. First toiletries, then dog food, then past the fabric department and toys towards the food. I start in the dairy department and work my way forward. I have found that it is the quickest and most efficient route through The WalMart.

Today I only needed a few things so I sped through the dog food department and headed towards the food. But today, for some reason, the customers were extra annoying and in my way. I fully expect dumb asses when I go to The WalMart but today there was a special breed out which I felt were only there to piss me off. Needless to say, by the time I was out of there I was in a very fowl mood. I felt the only thing that could pull me out of my funk was to treat myself to a Starbucks from the neighboring Target.

I pulled into Target's parking lot and, still annoyed from The WalMart, almost rear ended a van pulling out of a handicap spot. I parked and made my way in, only to be cart blocked by some old lady who either didn't see me trying to get around her or was sent over by The WalMart to punish me for defecting to Target. I finally made it past her and headed to Starbucks. I got my Skinny Caramel Latte and as I took the first warm, glorious sip I glanced over towards the women's clothing department. Then, it was as if the heavens parted and a chorus of angels began to sing because there, in a brand new display, was the only thing that could save me from my crummy mood.... BATHING SUITS!!!!!

I had to move closer to make sure I wasn't hallucinating. But I wasn't, they were there, racks and racks of colorful bathing suits and cover ups! My mood lifted and I suddenly started to warm up and get the rosy glow back in my cheeks. I started imagining me in my pool, cool drink in hand, sun shining down from a cloudless blue sky, Jimmy Buffet singing me tales of sunsets and oysters, margaritas and cheeseburgers. Because if bathing suits are starting to be stocked it must mean that summer is just around the corner. I have officially bought the last article of winter clothing this year. From this point forward, all clothing/shoe purchases will be for summer items only.

That trip to Target has officially lifted me out of the winter blues. For now I know that it won't be much longer before I can officially retire the sweaters and long pants and take the extra blanket off the bed. Yes, pretty soon I will again have color on my face and my legs and an overall glow from the happiness that summer brings. What a great way to start the New Year!

Ho Ho Ho

Well, Santa came and went and now all that's left to look forward to this year is the end of it. I actually had a very nice Christmas. Once I got the idea out of my head that we might be able to announce a pregnancy at Christmas dinner, it got a lot easier to deal with. Santa treated me very well this year. I got some new books and perfume, a bracelet, and a charm for my charm bracelet, and a set of new makeup brushes. My parents got us a set of new pots and pans that we just love. We haven't had new pots and pans since well before we got married so we really were in desperate need. Joe had a very nice Christmas as well. He got some video games and the Dark Knight on BluRay. My favorite gift that Santa brought him is ShamWow... from the infomercial. I can't wait to see if it works as good as it does on TV. I'll keep you guys posted.

It was hilarious watching the kids open their gifts this year. Even though Peyton was sick and neither of them really got the opening of the gifts idea, it was still great. They got all kinds of neat stuff. Dinner was very nice too. We had way too much food but it was all really good. Other than that, our Christmas was very low key. We hung around for most of the day just enjoying our new goodies.

We actually have plans for New Years Eve this year. We convinced one of our friends to have a New Year's Eve party so we'll be going down to his house for that. It isn't going to be anything fancy, but it'll be our friends, and that is the most important part. I'm actually heading out the stores today to see if I can find a cute shirt to wear. I hope you all have a very safe and fun New Year!!

There isn't really much else going on with us. We're in a holding pattern to start our IVF stuff. We go to our seminar in two weeks and then just wait. The anticipation hasn't really hit me yet but I'm sure it will. I also don't think I've really grasped the whole idea of what I'm about to go through. That's ok though, I'm kind of enjoying the blissful naivety right now. I'm sure that will all change soon.

Well, time to get dressed and head out to shop. I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas and I hope you're planning a fun New Year's Eve!!

Bump in the road

I haven't even officially started my first IVF cycle and I've already hit my first bump in the road.  There are several steps that we are required to make before "officially" starting.  I have to have another (my third) Hysterosalpingogram (HSG), which is pretty much an x-ray of my uterus and tubes, we have to attend an IVF seminar to go over all the details, and we have to have a "final" IVF consult with my doctor.  My nurse, who I love dearly, was trying to fast track us so we could start our IVF cycle right away instead of jumping through all the hoops.  Well, new IVF nurse lady put the kibosh on that little plan today.  

I already started my birth control pills and am scheduled for my HSG tomorrow afternoon.  I've already done my IVF blood work (which came back completely normal and healthy, btw) and Joe has a prescription to get his done sometime this week.  We are on the list for the IVF seminar for the second week of January.  So I called the IVF nurse today to schedule my final consult with the doctor and she got all in a tizzy because, "this isn't how we normally do things".  I told her I that I spoke with my regular nurse and she wanted to see if they could get me in sooner.  She said since I'm already on pills and still have to complete all the other requirements, that the timing will be all wrong.  I gave in and agreed to wait for my period to start again and then come in for my final consult.  So now I have to wait a month to really get started.  I'm pretty frustrated but whatever.  Maybe it'll be fun to not think about ovaries and follicles and sperm for a while.  

Joe and I are excited and nervous about what our future holds.  We're trying not to do too many, "what-if's" but in this situation it is hard not to.  In IVF the possibility of multiples is huge so we've been talking about that a lot.  Of course, we will be thrilled to have one baby but the thought of having twins or triplets and never having to go through this again would be pretty amazing too.  Joe thinks that after everything we've been through that he would be satisfied with one child.  I definitely want more than one so, if it is possible, I'd be willing to go through fertility treatments again to have another one.  I've been watching marathons of Jon and Kate plus 8 all day today and after their twins they said they'd try for one more and look what happened to them!  I can't even imagine.  

Of course I'm getting WAY ahead of myself.  Thinking about having multiples before even starting treatment is really crazy.  I'm hopeful that I'll produce lots of follicles and that they'll all fertilize and grow and divide properly.  I'm hopeful that I'll have at least two embryos to transfer back in and hopefully a couple to freeze.  But I've done enough reading and research to know that things don't always work out that way for many couples.  But, without hope I don't think that I could make it through.  So, that's what I'm holding on to.  I'm holding onto the dream of someday being able to announce my pregnancy to all of you, to someday attending a baby shower thrown in my honor, to feeling my unborn baby kick for the first time, to the day I get to hold my baby in my arms.  And that's just the beginning.  

You may have noticed that I've changed the title of my blog.  Since my life is decidedly more complicated since I started this blog, I felt the title, "My Simple Life", no longer fit.  I've decided to change it to the title of one of my favorite albums by Mandy Moore, Wild Hope.  Because if I've got anything right now, it is definitely Wild Hope.  

I hope you all have a Merry Christmas.  I'll keep you posted.  

Breaking out the big guns

I guess its time for full disclosure. I've been keeping my fertility treatments very quiet in hopes that not talking about them would make it easier for me to deal with. But, we have just had back to back IUI's fail and its time to be open and honest about where this journey is headed.

After a lot of soul searching and talking and crying, Joe and I have decided to move along to IVF. I can't say it was a difficult decision to make emotionally but it was a very hard financial decision. Our doctor has been suggesting IVF to us since last January but, because it was so expensive, I decided to have laparoscopic surgery to correct the damage to my tubes and continue pursuing IUI. My insurance at the time paid for them and, since we'd had a pregnancy with IUI, we decided to go that route. But, since those have not worked we feel like we need to move on to a treatment plan that offers a better chance at success.

So, off we go. IVF is crazy. It is a long, labor intensive process. I have already started the preliminary blood work and testing and Joe will start his soon also. We're scheduled to go for an "IVF seminar" the second week in January where we'll learn all the steps to IVF. But basically I'll start by taking birth control pills (crazy, right?), then a medication to completely suppress my ovaries so they won't start producing follicles too soon. Then I start the "stimming" phase. This is where I do injections of follicle stimulating hormones to help my ovaries produce lots of follicles. Once those follicles are ready, I'll go in for a retrieval where they will remove the eggs from the follicles, place them in a petrie dish and introduce Joe's sperm. Over the next 24 hours, the embryologists will watch the eggs to see how many fertilize. They will then decide which ones are the strongest and I'll go back and have those embryos put back into my uterus. Hopefully the embryos will implant and I'll get pregnant. Hopefully.

Because of the cost, Joe and I can afford to do this once. Talk about pressure. But, we're going to try to remain hopeful. If it doesn't work we've discussed a couple different options but we're really not sure what we'll do. Do you think its appropriate to have a bake sale to raise money for IVF? You know, a "Bun in the Oven" fundraiser. Get it, hahaha.

It sucks that we've had to take yet another step further into the infertility journey but we're dealing with it as it comes. I never in my life thought that this is how it would be. We're determined that one day we will have a baby in our lives. We have so much love and so many laughs to share with a child that we know someday it'll happen for us. The journey may be long and the road along the way may be filled with potholes but it will just make arriving at the destination that much sweeter.

So, there you have it. Out in the open, exposed, for everyone to see. Its scary to me for all of you to know this. Now there are expectations and questions and comments. I can't hide and pretend I'm ok. But if I'm doing this, I'm doing it all the way. I can't hide from reality anymore. Its time to be brave and face this head on and hopefully come out on top. If I don't, I know I'll have the support of my friends and family to help me through. As I get really going into the process I'm sure the blog will be heavy on the IVF info. Sorry if its boring but my ovaries will pretty much be ruling my world for the next two months. I'll try to blog about some lighter stuff here and there too.

And so it begins...

Not myself

Something is up with me and I can't figure out what it is. I am not myself lately and it is driving me nuts. Maybe its the holidays, maybe the cold weather, but I have been feeling blah.

I hate daylight savings time. I don't understand why we have to change the clocks. I hate that it is dark at 6:00! It makes the evenings so boring. All I do is lie on the couch and watch TV until I head to bed around 9. Thank goodness that I get home at 4:30 or I would really be miserable. At least I get a chance to walk the dogs before the sun goes down.

I'm a humongous fat cow right now. I'm so bloated and gross that I can hardly stand to look at myself. I'm only up like 7 pounds but those pounds are all in my gut. I only have one pair of pants that fit and don't give me muffin top and I'm terrified of wearing a dress and being mistaken as pregnant again. I stopped going to the gym so now all the muscle tone that I gained in my arms and legs is disappearing into ugly, mushy, shaky flab.

You would think that my fatness would encourage me to exercise and eat healthy. Wrong. This week has been a nutritional disaster. Monday we had the boys over for football and I made pigs in a blanket, buffalo chicken dip, sweet and spicy meatballs, chips and french onion dip, and I ate just like those boys did. Tuesday I picked up a coffee and a scone on my way to work, then got some greasy, fried sesame chicken from the cafeteria for lunch, then came home and had a very nutritious dinner of chips and french onion dip. Seriously! I did a little better today. I had soup and a salad for lunch then BBQ chicken, mashed potatoes and green beans for dinner. But, before dinner I had a piece of birthday cake and more chips and dip! I'm like a garbage disposal. And now I feel disgusting like grease is just oozing out of my pores. I can feel myself producing more fat as I type.

I don't even want to get dressed in the morning. Me, not wanting to get dressed! Even my high heels can't change my piss poor attitude. I was miserable wearing them yesterday and today. What is happening to me?! Its taken me at least three wardrobe changes to get out of the house every morning this week. Usually I'm very prepared, I pick out my clothes the night before so that I don't have to rush in the mornings. But since I've been exhausted and going to bed at 9, I haven't been doing it.

I've also been incredibly restless. When I'm at work I can't wait to get home. I get annoyed with myself for making stupid little mistakes and have less patience with my co-workers and customers. Its so exhausting being "on" all day that as soon at 4:00 rolls around, I just crash and am all moody and irritable.

I cringe every time someone mentions Christmas so maybe that's what my problem is. I just want it to be summer again so that the sun doesn't go down until 8, I can lounge in my pool and get some sun on my pasty pale legs, and so I don't have to dress in layers to stay warm. Hopefully it won't take me that long to break out of my funk because it'll be a miserable couple of months if it does.

Thanks for "listening" to me rant.

Boooooring

Hey ya'll. Sorry for the lack of blogs lately. My life has been so boring that I can't think of anything that I have to say. I've been going to bed between 8:30 and 9:30, going to work, walking the dogs, and watching TV. That's honestly about it. I've also been trying to get a Christmas list together and find gifts that I want to get for all the kiddies in my life.

I wish I had more to report but I don't. There haven't been any fashion victims, or people who make rude comments, no emotional crisis, or breakdown about my weight. Nothing of any remote interest. Sorry. I'll try to be more interesting for my next blog.

We are doing one fun thing this week. Joe's 30th birthday is tomorrow and we're having people over to watch the Bucs and Panthers on Monday Night Football. I'm in charge of whipping up some appetizers to keep all the guys happy.

That's about it. If something comes up, you can be sure I'll blog about it. Until then, I'll have to look for some good material for you.

Done and Done

Well, after all the bitching and drama my Thanksgiving didn't turn out so bad. I survived. The bottle of wine I drank really helped but I made it through. The holidays are getting harder and this one just really got to me. I think I just feel such a void, like something is missing, and it makes it tough to deal with. But, I always manage to keep on keepin' on.

I can't believe we're already to the end of the holiday weekend. These four days pretty much flew by. I managed to do a lot of relaxing but also squeezed in some chores too. On Friday I hung out around the house and cleaned up and pulled our Christmas decorations out. We keep the majority of our decorations in a big Rubbermaid tub out in our shed. I dug out the tub and opened it up to go through everything but when I took the lid off, the tub was wet and very smelly. There was a crack in the bottom of the container and we think when our shed flooded during the hurricane this summer the water must have gotten in. There was mold everywhere! Our stockings, the tree skirt, all the lights, some of the ornaments... all covered with disgusting, smelly mold. I was so disappointed. Luckily we keep our nice ornaments in Ziploc bags so those are all ok but we had to start over on everything else.

I was in a very Scrooge mood on Saturday so Joe put the tree up for me. Once he got the new lights on and the new tree skirt under it we took a break to watch the Florida State/Florida game. What a disaster. I was so freaking pissed off. I hate the Gators more than anything and they just served up an ass whooping. My Seminoles managed to score 15 measly points so it wasn't a shutout but it was still sad. We were so sick of watching the game that we turned it off at half time, turned on the 80's music and finished decorating the tree. Even though we lost a bunch of ornaments, the tree still turned out really nice. We also put up our Christmas village and added a new piece this year. We got "The Campbell House" which is an homage to my sister-in-law and her husband who are Campbell's. It was too perfect not to get.

Today has been yucky and windy and rainy all day. We were hoping to get the lights up on the house but had to postpone that to next weekend. But we made a big pot of chili and watched the Bucs game and are just hanging out getting ready for Monday. We don't have anything too exciting planned for this week but next Monday is Joe's 30th birthday!!! He's pretty pumped because the Bucs play the Carolina Panthers (HUGE game!) on Monday night football that night so we may have some friends over for that. I've promised him my buffalo chicken dip and a pineapple upside down cake. I think I can handle that. We're also still planning on going to a Bucs game at the end of the month to celebrate some more.

Anyway, enjoy your week everyone!!

Bitter, party of one

Its Thanksgiving Day. A day to give thanks for all the things you are grateful for. I am thankful for my wonderful husband, the best two dogs in the whole world, my beautiful home, my great job, good friends and my almost perfect health. I have a lot to be grateful for. But I can't shake the bitterness and sadness for the one thing I want more than anything.

The holidays are hard for me. For some reason today is especially hard. I've never been so overwhelmed with sadness on a holiday before. I didn't even expect it either. I just woke up today in a sad mood. The commercials on TV and the Macy's parade didn't help. There is a stupid grocery store commercial running that makes me cry every freaking time it comes on. It is a montage of a bunch of families sitting down to dinner and one of the mothers stands up and is talking about all the things she's thankful for. She looks at her very pregnant daughter and says she's thankful that at the next Thanksgiving there will be a new family member. God, why don't you just stab me in the heart Publix? Then stupid Matt Lauer had to point out all the kids sitting on their dad's shoulders watching the Macy's parade while their moms took pictures. The tears won't stop!

I try so hard not to live in the past and play the "coulda, woulda, shoulda" game but it is so hard not to. If things would've worked out for us, we would have a ten month old child right now. Instead all I have is a bruise on my belly from fertility drug injections and a stack of credit card bills that remind me of every failed fertility treatment we've tried. It sucks. I feel like this process will never end. I just feel like all hope is gone.

And now I have to go sit with family and pretend like nothing is wrong. When my mom talks about how much she loves her grand kids or wants to show off their newest pictures all I can think about is how I have nothing to offer. Its just me and Joe and my dogs. We don't have anything to bring to the table. I feel like such an outcast. I'm definitely not looking forward to Christmas!

I hate that I feel this way too. I start throwing myself these pity parties and then feel overwhelming guilt for letting myself be sad over this. There are people out there that are facing huge obstacles in their lives. You know, at least I have a house and can pay my bills and put food on the table. At least I'm not fighting a battle for my life. At least I know my husband is safe and sound at home with me instead of on a battle field half way across the world. But this is MY problem. This is the battle I'm fighting and I honestly don't know how I can still be fighting after all this time. I'm like Rocky 10 rounds into the fight. I'm bloody and can't see out of one eye but I keep getting up to get pounded some more.

I'm sorry for being such a Thanksgiving downer. I knew when I couldn't blow dry my hair without bawling, that I had to get this out. Better on my blog than over the dinner table, right? I guess holding it all in really isn't the way to go. Sometimes I feel like if I keep stuff to myself that its not really happening. If nobody knows about it then they can't talk about it and it isn't real. But on days like this it is all too real and it hurts and it sucks. I hate myself for being so bitter and jealous and sad. I think its time to break out the wine and just go numb for the rest of the day.

Before I depart on my pity train, I do sincerely want to wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving. I hope you all can find many things in your lives to be thankful for. To all my family, I miss you very much and hope to be able to see you again soon. And to my friends, I hope you all have a great day as well. I wish you were all here drinking wine with me.

Everyone enjoy your turkey day!! Happy Thanksgiving.

Please don't leave any comments to this post. I know everyone means well and wants to make me feel better but I just can't take another, "hang in there". Thanks.

Hot Topics

All of my holiday season magazines have been arriving with gift suggestions for everyone on your list. Some gift suggestions are ridiculously expensive, some are just ridiculous, but one suggestion has really caught my interest. I wouldn't necessarily call it a board game but it is sort of in the game family. The name is Table Topics. It is a cube filled with little cards that each have a topic on them. The idea is that you're supposed to put the cards out when you have a party so that your guests will have things to discuss. But, one of the topics caught my eye and I feel like it needs to be turned into a blog.

The question was, "What is the best and worst thing about being your gender?". I read the question and didn't put much thought to it at first but after a while I couldn't stop thinking about it. It has really been on my mind for the past week so, of course, I had to get it all out here.

The best part of the question, for me, was easy.... the shoes. Seriously. Look at all the fun options we have for shoes. And our shoes can say so much about who we are or the attitude we are trying to portray. It would be so sad to be a man and not be able to wear all the fun shoes. Women are allowed to play dress up in their own closets everyday. Men don't really get that option.

Once I got the best part of the question out of the way I really started thinking of the worst part. There are a lot of crappy things about being a woman. Your period, obviously. But also shaving, cellulite, visits to the gynecologist... Nothing fun about any of that. All those things are bad but, to me, the worst thing about being a woman is having to be everything to everyone all the time.

As women we have such high expectations placed on us. I don't mean to say that we shouldn't be expected to be as smart as a man or as good at our jobs because we certainly should, and I think we do a damn good job at it. But we are expected to be just as good as the men at that stuff and also all the "womanly" tasks too. We have to go to work everyday and work alongside the men and hold our own, while dressed up and wearing makeup and having our hair done, but then we also have to come home and make sure our families get fed and the house gets clean and that everyone is taken care of. If you don't do that, you're not a good wife. Right?

I don't know who exactly is worse at placing the expectations. Is it other women that expect you to be well dressed and thin and have the best hair cut/color? Or is it the men? Are our bosses the ones who place the pressure to be just as good as the men at our jobs without bringing up "issues" and, thus, being seen as a bitch? Or is it society? Is it our family that expects us to get married and start a family and live a "storybook" lifestyle? Or is it ourselves? Whoever it is, I just feel like it is a lot of pressure.

A lot of times, I don't give a crap about other people's expectations. I am who I am, I've come to terms with that. But, for the sake of the argument, I don't think men feel the same kind of pressure that women do. Maybe they feel a different kind of pressure. Maybe I should ask a man to answer the same Table Topic question and see what he says. He'd probably something gross like, farting in public. It is a good topic to think on though. I'd love to hear your answers in the comments. I also may have to invest in that little game if not just for blog topics.

Kids

It is no secret to anyone who knows me that I would desperately love to have children. This weekend, however, I ran into several little kids that made me challenge that position. These were the types of children that make you not only cringe but also glad that you aren't the one responsible for them.

Saturday was Pierce's 2nd birthday party. It was a big ole' monkey themed extravaganza. The decorations were adorable, the food was great, and there were activities a-plenty for all the little kiddies in attendance. The most popular activity was a huge bounce house which the kids flocked to. The kids at the party mostly ranged in age from one to four with a few other odd ages thrown in here and there. But, all of them needed to be watched pretty closely. So I was standing guard at the bounce house keeping an eye on my angelic niece and nephew when I noticed one little kid getting a little too rough. The first time he jumped on top of my niece I thought it was probably an accident but then it happened a couple more times. After the third time, and after scanning the crowd for his care taker and not seeing her anywhere near us, I took it upon myself to firmly tell the little bastard to knock it off. I don't know if he didn't understand me or he just didn't care but that little jerk off came running from across the bounce house, jumped, and while in mid-air, spread his legs open like a professional wrestler and tackled Peyton on the chest. If I could have fit through the little opening in the bounce house I would've grabbed that little kid by his arm and dragged him out of that thing with the quickness. I did actually wonder out loud a couple of times if it was ok to spank another person's kids. Peyton took it like a champ though and the little kid did finally back off. I understand that kids will be kids but this little boy was just way out of hand. He was the only one causing trouble like that. Little jerk.

Then today I was at Target, having a very relaxing time of walking up and down the aisles touching and looking at everything, when a blood curdling scream broke the blissful silence of my day. Some little brat was screaming at the top of her lungs. I seriously almost ran to her thinking she was being abducted or something. I stopped when I heard her poor mother trying to get her to shut up. In my head I honestly said to myself, "see that's one good thing about not having a child". LOL I honestly don't know how you parents do it. What do you do when your kid has a break down in the store? I mean, you can't spank them in public anymore for fear that someone will call DCF on you. But, do you stop mid-shop, leave all your stuff in the cart and leave? Do you let the kid scream? Do you give them whatever they want so they'll be quiet? And what do you say to all the people giving you dirty looks? I know if I ever have a child that someday I'll have to deal with that but every time it happens I'm kind of thankful that its not my child disturbing the peace.

When I got home this afternoon I encountered some more little hellions running around my neighborhood. It is a gorgeous, cool day here. We've got the windows open and the breeze is blowing in. I know the kids are probably having a great time running around outside and playing. But, there is a little group of assholes playing in the backyard of the house behind mine and one over. That's fine, I understand kids need to be outside and playing. I don't even mind their screaming but these little jerks took it a step further. They started antagonizing my sweet, perfectly mannered babies, Daisy and Roxy. They were banging on the fence until the dogs went running up to them barking and then would run away screaming. When we called our dogs back the little kids would run up to the fence and do it again. You know, we try to keep our dogs quiet as not to disturb the neighbors. Is it so much to ask that parents do the same for their children? I think not.

I know that even after this weekend my resolve to have children has not gone away. I still definitely want them. But that's only because my children would never act like the ones I've encountered today. Or is that something all parents to be have to tell themselves in order to procreate?

Poor, misguided victim of fashion

This post may come off as superficial but I really hope it serves as a wake up call to all the fashion victims in this world. Maybe they don't know what they look like or maybe no one has ever told them a different way so I feel it is my duty to set the record straight once and for all.

Nothing annoys me more than a visible panty line. I don't understand how any woman can still allow this to happen. Open ANY women's magazine, turn on Oprah or Tim Gunn or What Not To Wear, shit, turn on the 6 o'clock news and you will see info on how to find the proper undergarments. I just don't get it. Can these people not see their panty lines? I don't know how they could miss them because they are like red, flashing beacons to me.

This post is really inspired by a poor, misguided victim of fashion that I came into contact with today. This was a case of VPL on steroids. The lady was wearing high-waisted, dress capris (don't even get me started). Underneath I think she must have been wearing the smallest pair of underwear known to man. How do I know? Because I could see the entire outline of the undies squeezing her body so tightly that her flesh was bulging out all around them. I swear I think my jaw dropped. I wanted to run to her and show her the ways of proper fitting undergarments, the joys of not having flab squish out around the seams of her panties, the comfort of unconstricting waist/leg bands. But I couldn't. All I could do was sit there in shock and watch the poor lady walk away to face a work day full of VPL. If it was a friend or a relative you'd better believe that I would've pulled her aside and given her a lesson... and a sweatshirt to wrap around her waist. But this was a person that I hardly know. I couldn't bring up her undergarments. So I had to come here to put the world on full alert that VPL is wrong and can be prevented.

There are several ways to avoid VPL. I think the first rule of thumb is to buy undergarments that fit. If you've gained some weight and haven't bought new panties because you're hoping you'll lose the weight, snap out of it! Maybe you will lose the weight, but do yourself a favor and buy some panties that fit your body right now. There are several types of undergarments you could buy depending on what you're wearing, what kind of control you need, and what your lifestyle is.

Lets start with the thong. With a thong, obviously you won't have panty lines around the butt because there is nothing covering your butt. But, you need to make sure that there are also no panty lines around the waist band. For those, like me, with butts too jiggly for a thong, option number two is the boy short. This is my personal favorite. They give you a smooth behind, are comfortable as hell to wear, and can be worn under everything from dresses to jeans to dress pants. Those looking for even more coverage can look into option 3, body shapers. Ever wonder how celebrities always look so thin and sleek in their red carpet gowns? Their bodies aren't that great, they are wearing Spanx. Ah Spanx, the miracle invention that can make you look 10 pounds thinner almost immediately. They come in all different varieties from a high waisted panty to a full legging. They suck it all in. For comfort, you might want to reserve these for special occasions but if you want to look 10 pounds thinner all the time you can certainly use them everyday.

So, moral of the story, check your ass in the mirror before leaving the house. If you can see the outline of your undies, you're wearing the wrong kind. Take yourself to any number of stores and find some proper fitting undergarments stat! Don't be a poor, misguided fashion victim. I just can't take it!

Sushi, Porno, and the Blue Angels

Another weekend come and gone. They sure do fly by don't they? Joe and I have been pretty boring lately. We haven't had anything real exciting going on. We've mostly been hanging around the house doing our normal routine of chores and football. This weekend was pretty much the same old routine with a few little exciting bits thrown in.

Friday night Joe's family breezed back into town on their way home from Key West. They stopped in for dinner and we introduced them to the deliciousness that is Thai Thai sushi. Like usual, it was so good. Everyone loved it, especially me! After dinner I got to spend some time with my nieces while giving them a bath. It was a really nice treat for me because I don't get to spend that kind of time with them on a regular basis. They live so far away that we only get to see them once or twice a year. It was just fun having that bonding time with them. But, it didn't last long as they headed back home that evening. We're hoping to make a trip up to Alabama to see them sometime after the first of the year.

Saturday was a cleaning day. Joe and I cleaned hard for probably 2 hours and then crashed out on the couch. We stayed home and in front of the TV for most of the day. We watched my Florida State Seminoles whoop up on the Clemson Tigers. The game was really exciting so it was really fun to watch. After the game we headed out to the movies. We saw Zack and Miri Make A Porno. The movie was great. It was really funny but also really sweet. I think Seth Rogan is hilarious so I'm always up to see anything that he's in. There is some crude humor in the movie so if you're not into that I'd avoid it but I thought it was great.

Sunday I got up early and met a friend for breakfast then Becky and I took Pierce to see an air show out here at the Space Center. We had such a nice time. The weather was gorgeous and the air show was really neat. We were worried that Pierce would be scared at how loud the jets were but he was having a great time. He was waving to the planes and yelling, "AIRPLANE". It was pretty funny. Becky and I were amazed at the skill and guts that those pilots have. The Blue Angels were amazing. I don't know how they fly those planes so close together without running into one another. It was a really great, really patriotic kind of day. I can't wait to go again next year.

This week should be pretty boring as well. The time change always messes with my head so I've been ready for bed around 8:30 every night. I'm turning into an elderly woman. Pretty soon I'll be going to bed at 6:30 and getting up at 4am to take my trash out or rushing out to beat the traffic at the grocery store. LOL I hope you all have a more exciting week than me!

The Holiday Season

The holiday season has officially begun in the Miller household. Not only did we celebrate Halloween this past weekend, we also hosted our Thanksgiving dinner. The past week and weekend flew by with Joe being out of town and celebrating both holidays in a two day span. But, everything went off without a hitch and I can look forward to actual Thanksgiving. Which, thank goodness, I don't have to cook.

Friday night was fun seeing Pierce and Peyton dressed up in their Halloween costumes. They were the cutest little BamBam and Pebbles I've ever seen. Joe and I visited a couple house with them before heading back to our own house to hand out candy. We don't normally get many kids in our neighborhood, as its comprised mostly of older, retired people. This year, however, we got a ton! One of my neighbors on the next street over hosted a huge haunted house in their home this year and advertised for it all over town. I think that encouraged more kids to trick-or-treat in my neighborhood. I actually ran out of candy this year and had to close up shop early. That's ok though because my dogs were going nuts with all the little kids knocking on the door all night.

We were up early on Saturday to get to the grocery store to pick up all the things we needed for our Thanksgiving dinner on Sunday. I never realized how much prep goes into a Thanksgiving dinner. I usually just show up to eat, I've never had to prepare the whole dinner before. By the time dinner rolled around on Sunday I was exhausted. Everything turned out great though. We had the full spread, turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, stuffing... You name it, I made it. It was fun having both mine and Joe's family together for a dinner. All the kids played and, for the most part, had a great time. After dinner was over and cleaned up and everyone left, our house was nice and quiet and calm. Joe and I resigned to the couch to watch some football and relax.

I don't have too much going on this week. It'll be nice to have a little R&R for a couple of weeks before our other big events start popping up. We've got Pierce's second birthday party coming up as well as the real Thanksgiving and, dare I say, we have to start thinking about Christmas shopping.... eek! Another year has all but flown by and I can't believe it.

How to deal with a jackass

I don't understand people sometimes. I don't know if people just don't know the rule, "if you don't have anything nice to say..." then shut the fuck up. That's how it goes right? Maybe they just have no idea how to use their internal edit button. Whatever it is, I've been encountering some real assholes lately. And usually I'm so caught off guard by the crazy things people say that I usually just grin and bear it, then stew about it silently all day and come home and explode. So, I thought maybe you all could give me some helpful hints on how to deal with the following scenarios.

Jackass number one is a lady that I work with. I don't know if she feels threatened by my awesomeness or she's just sad that she is no longer as awesome as she thinks she is but she loves to give backward compliments. The lady is fifty and you can tell that she used to be a really pretty woman. But now her face is really wrinkly, especially around the mouth, and she's got cellulite on her calves. She likes to make comments about how I dress. Like one day I was wearing a summer scarf and she told me I looked like a flight attendant. Another day I was wearing black, peep toe heels and she made a big fuss about how sexy they were. Another day I was wearing black pants, a black v-neck t-shirt, and a black and white zebra print scarf and she was like, "whooooo... sexy". Now, I don't go into my closet in the morning looking for something sexy to put on. That's not how I want to portray myself, especially at work. It makes me mad that she would immediately go to that reaction. It makes me doubt what I put on and makes me feel like I'm making a bad impression. Even though she's the only person that ever says anything like that to me. Its annoying and I just want to tell her and her cellulite cankles to fuck off. But normally I either don't say anything or say thank you. I don't know what the appropriate response is to that.

Two weeks ago I wore my hair straight and ran into jackasses number two and three. People love to make comments on my hair, especially when its straight, so I'm kind of used to them and prepared for it. But these two nim-wads took it a step further. The guy was commenting on my hair and saying that he liked it and said, while making hand gestures around his own head, that it makes my head "look smaller". Uhhhhh... huh?! Then his partner in jackassness chimed in and said, "yeah and it looks like you're wearing less makeup... definitely not as heavy as usual." Well, I was wearing the EXACT makeup that I wear everyday. But thanks for letting me know that on a normal day that I look like a big headed drag queen. Makes me feel really great about wearing my hair curly again. I understand that these people were trying to pay me a compliment but they were doing it at the expense of "regular" me. Just because I have straight hair doesn't mean I don't have feelings. And those two just trampled them.

The worst offender, by far, came last week. I'm the first to admit that lately I've been putting on some weight. I've probably gained 6-7 pounds over the last couple of months. I feel gross and unattractive and my clothes don't fit as well as they used to. I've only got three pairs of pants that I can wear comfortably all day. So, last week I was feeling particularly hefty and decided to wear a dress to work. I like dresses because there is no constricting waistband and they kind of flow around my mid-section. The dress I was wearing that day wasn't real flowy but definitely wasn't tight. I had a customer come in who was a really nice older man. I was sitting at my desk and he walked up in front of it, looked down at my stomach area and said, "well, when" I immediately knew what he had just assumed (that I was pregnant and he wanted to know my due date) but I was so shocked I didn't know what to say. So, I gave him my evilest bitch look and said, "when what". And he didn't take the hint! He again looked down at my belly and asked, "when". I repeated, in a bitchier tone than before, "when what". He must've gotten the hint at that point because he just smiled and said, "so everything's going well here, have a good day". I was completely dumbfounded. Don't people know that you should NEVER ask a woman if she's pregnant unless she's like nine months pregnant and her water just broke? I was so upset. But I honestly have no idea what I should've said in that situation. Do I say, no not pregnant... just fat? What do you say?

Anyway, besides the jackasses I've been so fortunate to run into lately, things have been alright here. Our plants in the new landscape are still alive so that's a good thing. The weather is getting cooler here and we've been able to open the windows and let some fresh air in. We may actually get down in the sixties this week so I may have to pull out the first sweater of the season. Winter is definitely not my favorite season of the year but the weather we've been having lately has been pretty nice so I can't complain too much.

I took Joe to the airport this afternoon. He'll be in Atlanta until Thursday for some big medical equipment convention. He's staying at the Ritz in downtown Atlanta. I'm so jealous that I wasn't able to join him but he'll be busy the whole time so I'd be alone most of the time. Oh well, maybe next trip. His family will all be here on Saturday so we're really excited to see them. They're driving down from Alabama and I haven't seen them since last Thanksgiving. It'll be Joe's mom, his sister and her husband and their two little girls. We're going to have a Thanksgiving dinner on Sunday since we won't see them on actual Thanksgiving and then we're all going to Disney on Monday. So, that should be fun.

Anyway, I'll keep you all posted on how my Thanksgiving dinner goes and any new jackasses that I come into contact with. Have a good week!

Misson Accomplished

Holy crap!! This weekend has been so busy! We've seriously been non-stop since Friday night. We did accomplish everything that we set out to do so, even though it was very busy, I consider it a huge success!

Saturday morning we all got up bright and early, put on our best pink get ups, and headed out to the Strides Against Breast Cancer walk. I was shocked by how emotional it was for me. When I was planning it I thought, oh this will be a nice thing to do and it'll make me feel like I'm doing something to help. It was so much more than that though. When we signed in we were given the opportunity to write who we were walking for on a little placard that we pinned to the backs of our shirts. Something about writing, "Favorite Aunt Patti" on that placard was just so overwhelming. I don't know if that's when it hit me, the gravity of what she's going through/been through but I just started to tear up. And seeing all the people that were there who were survivors of cancer or those who were there to support someone they knew that had cancer or even those walking in honor of someone who died from cancer. It was amazing. But I'm so glad we did it. I think they said that all the participants of the walk we did raised over 1.2 million dollars!! That makes me feel so good. And we all agreed that we want to do it again. Go Patti's Perky Posse!!

While I was walking for the cure, Joe was home prepping the yard for landscaping. He pulled out all our old hedges and took them to the dump, prepped the bed with landscaping mat stuff and got it all smoothed and ready to go for today. We had already planned on going out to dinner that night so we left our landscaping behind and headed out for some sushi. After that, Joe talked me into a movie so we went to see Quarantine. I have no idea why I agreed to see that movie. I purposely shield myself from scary movies because my over-active imagination always gets the best of me. I probably watched 20 minutes of the movie and spent the rest of the hour and 10 minutes with my eyes covered. But even just hearing the movie was enough to scare the crap out of me. If you like scary movies, you'll like Quarantine. It is shot Blair Witch/Cloverfield style but the acting was very good. You truly believe that the characters are scared out of their minds. If you don't like scary movies, stay away!!

Today Joe and I got up nice and early and headed out to Home Depot to get our plants for the yard. It didn't immediately go so well. The plants that we had originally picked out were no longer available so we had to decide on other stuff. We both disagreed about what to get or what would work so we decided to go to Lowe's (across the street) to see what they had. Well, we weren't impressed with that selection either so we went back to Home Depot. The sales people at stores like that are so unhelpful. They really have no idea what they're talking about. We picked out a small bush that we liked and asked the lady in the garden department how big it would get. She said it wouldn't get much bigger than it already was, which was like 12" tall. So we bought some of those and some azaleas and our Fox Tail palm and headed home. When we got here we noticed that our neighbor has the exact same bushes that we bought but his are like 3 and a half feet tall! Dumb Home Depot lady. We ended up taking those back and going to another garden place down in Rockledge, which is now officially my new favorite place, and getting some golden mound bushes and some inpatients. We've got all that stuff planted and the mulch in and it looks awesome!

Now we have to finish up our regular weekend chores and try to figure out what we want to have for dinner. I hope you all had a nice weekend too. Don't forget to check out all the pictures in both albums!!

Big Fat Funk

Hey ya'll. Hope you're all doing well out there in the world. Sorry for the lack of posts lately but I have been really unmotivated to do much of anything lately... especially blog. Its hard to be witty and write clever things when I feel so blah. I have an idea what might be causing my funk but, to be honest, its a self diagnosis and is probably not right. I am most likely trying to find an excuse for being a lazy turd.

Things here have been pretty good. Work is kind of weird and tense and stressful since our contract changeover and the lay off of several of my co-workers. After the changeover I just started to see my supervisors and co-workers in a different light. It makes me feel like I'd better mind my p's and q's or its off to the unemployment line for me. They tell me all the time how great they think I am but for some reason it just doesn't seem genuine anymore. Also, since we've lost so many people in our department, the work load has gone way up. Its definitely been a crazy couple of weeks.

I have some exciting things coming up for this weekend. Our team, Patti's Perky Posse will be walking in the Strides Against Breast Cancer walk on Saturday. Thank you so much to everyone who made a donation. Our team greatly overshot our goal of $250 and have raised $450!!! I doubt we'll be bringing home any medals on Saturday but I'm sure we'll have fun. I did read about the funniest and best fundraising idea the other day. A group of students from UCF were raising money for their walk team, while tailgating at the game, with the slogan, "Save Second Base". LOL... So clever. They all wore pink UCF shirts (even the guys) and had a sign up on their tailgating tent that said, "Donate if you like Boobies". I thought that was such a great idea. Good job UCF students!!

Also this weekend, Joe and I have decided were finally going to tackle the landscaping in the front of our house. Wish us luck because this has disaster written all over it! We really have no idea what we're doing. We know we want a palm tree and have already picked out a Fox Tail Palm for one side of the house. We also know that we're going to transplant a Sego Palm from the back yard to the front. We know that our house gets shade for pretty much the whole day so we have to be careful to pick shade-loving plants. But, picking out plants is really hard. We found some that we both agree on but both feel like it might be too bare. I guess we can get in the stuff we know we like and then go from there. I will definitely be posting pictures in the renovation album so check that out this weekend. I just hope we don't go spend a lot of time and money and then have everything die. Fingers crossed!!

I would like to finish out this blog post with a couple of rants that I've been saving up. I was having a rough day at work today and was annoyed by just about everything. I emailed myself from work with a list of things that were pissing me off. Here are a few:

Burnt popcorn- why, oh why, would someone put a bag of popcorn in the microwave and walk away? It says very clearly on the bag to LISTEN for popping and, when it slows, to remove the popcorn from the microwave. And really, how many grown ups are there that have never heard those instructions and/or have experienced a burnt bag of popcorn and know better? I know for a fact that one of my training videos when I started my job was completely dedicated to burning popcorn in the microwave. I hate the way burnt popcorn smells, its terrible and hangs in the air for what seems like hours. Let this be a warning to all of you, stay near the microwave when popping popcorn or it very likely will burn.... and I'll be pissed!

Office parties- office parties can be so annoying. I understand that some people may want to celebrate occasions with their co-workers but sometimes the parties can get out of hand. A lot of times the birthday parties end up like the scene on Office Space where they all have to sing Happy Birthday for Lumberg's birthday... if you haven't seen it you NEED to watch that movie! The parties usually end up with people standing around eating cake and making awkward chit chat. Well, I just got hit with a new party today. On Thursday, my department will be celebrating Boss's Day. Or, "let's see how many people can suck up to the Boss's Day". I didn't get shit for Secretary/Administrative Professional's Day. Not that I wanted to, that's just another party to attend, but still! So, here's the routine, the co-workers start passing around a list of things you can bring. Keep in mind we've already had 3 or 4 parties in the last two months. I've brought broccoli salad to 2, cookies to one and dip to another. And bringing something is such a pain to transport to work and then wash your dish and take it back home... So this time I offered to pitch in money. Well, some dumb bitch has decided that she wants us to pitch in for hot dogs and buns at $5 a piece!! Huh?! I know hot dogs and know they don't cost that much! So, I offered to bring a packet of hot dogs and buns. I'm not financing someone else's groceries for the week!

Pushy a-holes- I understand that by working in a very customer service focused environment that I'll be faced with my share of pushy a-holes. But some pushy a-holes take it a little too far. I had a guy today bring in this huge binder, full of tabs, that he need reproduced THE SAME DAY! I know that a lot of you don't know how much work that is, but its a lot. I took one look at the binder and told him we couldn't do it today, that we could maybe have it done tomorrow. He looked at me and said, "well I really need it today". Well, I'm sorry, you'll have to take it somewhere else then. What, did you think my saying no was just bluff? But, he insisted. So, I took his job in and told him I'd see what we could do. As I was leaving this afternoon his job was still sitting on the counter waiting to be done. And honestly, he probably won't get it tomorrow either. I hate when people are unprepared to do their job and rush in like its my problem. I heard a saying, "lack of preparation on your part does not constitute a rush on my part". You know what makes these pushy a-holes even worse? They'll come in demanding a rush on their work, that they need it ASAP. Then, when we do rush to get it done, they leave it sitting for days, or weeks even, waiting to be picked up. What was the rush, so you could go home early? God, that just pisses me off!

My last two rants are really with myself. Along with my overall feeling of blah I've also been feeling very fat and disgusting. For some reason I'm having an aversion to all healthy foods. I only want to eat junk, fried food, salty, sugary, you name it. I've been choking down bananas and carrots and salad but I'm completely unsatisfied by all of it. Like right now I think I could down several pieces of cake. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) there is no cake in my house. I'm still going to the gym and working really hard but the weight is going nowhere. Actually, that's not true, the weight is going up! Its very frustrating and I don't know what to do. All I want to do is lay around and eat. I've been doing the "whoa is me" and the "its not fair" routines but that gets me nowhere. I don't know where my funk came from but its got me in its fat, greasy grip and it is not letting go.

Maybe new landscaping will help... I'll keep you posted.

Oh hot damn...

Back in July I did a blog about some of my favorites. Well, I already have some more favorites and wanted to write a quick blog to let you all know about some of the awesome stuff I've come across lately.

New favorite websites:
I get very bored with the Internet and am always looking for fun, new websites. I love Perez but I check it so often the poor guy can't keep up! So, I've found some other favorites that I can go to in a pinch.

www.cuteoverload.com This is probably the cutest, make you smile website. I always love to go here when I'm down in the dumps or just really need something to cheer me up. Its pretty much just pictures of really cute animals with completely over-the-top, almost too silly descriptions. I'm telling you, one visit to this site and you'll be hooked.

www.passiveaggressivenotes.com This site makes me laugh my ass off. It is pictures of letters/notes that people received from roommates, neighbors, co-workers, etc. that are hilariously passive aggressive. The notes range on subjects from eating someone else's food in the refrigerator without permission to not cleaning up after your dog. All hilarious.

www.someecards.com The anti-Hallmark. This site has an e-card for EVERY occasion/subject. Some are incredibly inappropriate and may make you blush. Some of them definitely made me blush. You have to make sure your friend has an equally twisted sense of humor before you send a card from this site because you could easily offend someone. Either way, reading the cards is a laugh out loud good time.

www.endless.com The shoe lovers dream website!! I can get lost on this site for hours. I'm not kidding, hours. They have shoes that range from inexpensive to very expensive. This may be the most user friendly shopping site I've ever visited. You can browse by shoe type, designer, color, heel height, or price, or any combination of the above. And the best part about it, they offer FREE, next day delivery!! Its almost instant gratification. I ordered a pair of shoes last Thursday and they were waiting on my doorstep Friday afternoon when I got home.

I also have a new favorite play list for the gym that I wanted to share. I put my i-pod on shuffle so these aren't in any particular order:

Baby Got Back- Sir Mix Alot, conjures up images of big butts, the perfect motivation to work out
Dignity- Hilary Duff, fast paced and dancy and talks shit about the Hollywood "It" girls
Freakshow- Britney Spears, I think this is the hidden gem off the Blackout album
In these shoes- Kristy Maccoll, you Sex and the City watchers may recognize this one
Jump- Madonna, This was on The Devil Wears Prada soundtrack but the words are motivating
Low- Flo Rida, Booty shaking music at its best
When I grow up- Pussycat Dolls, They may be ho-ish but they can make a good dance song
Lolli Lolli- 36 Mafia- I get lost in the beat of this song... its good for getting over the hump
Break the Ice- Britney Spears, Good beat, catchy lyrics, makes you want to move
Piece of me- Britney Spears, This is kind of pump me up song- you wanna piece of me?
Let it rock- Kevin Rudolf, Lots of rap in this song but the chorus will make you want to move
So what- Pink, The girl anthem of the year! She's bad ass and will make you feel like you are too
In the Ayer- Flo Rida, The song that inspired the title of this blog. Warning- this may make you spontaneously throw your hands "in the ayer" so be careful.

Well, that's it for now. I'll keep posting my favorites as they come up. I hope you guys get some laughs from the websites and use the play list to get your booties shakin'.

Meh...

We had our big night out on Friday night. Joe and I went to see Joel McHale at Hard Rock Live in Orlando. We are HUGE Soup fans and thought that Joel would be hilarious. I have to say he was just ok. He talked a lot about people that he talks about on The Soup so it almost seemed like we'd heard a bunch of the jokes before. He did talk a little about his family and that was by far the funniest part of his show.

We did have a really nice time though. We had appetizers and drinks at Hard Rock Cafe before the show and that was fun. It had been a really long time since either of us had been to Hard Rock Cafe so it was interesting to go back. I think I may have had the best cocktail of my life on Friday. Hard to believe, but its true. It was some kind of raspberry margarita... I think. It was a special pink cocktail that donated a portion of the proceeds to breast cancer research so I had to have it. It was the perfect combination of salty, sweet, and tart. Yum!! The appetizers were so-so and the atmosphere was very touristy but it was still fun.

The rest of our weekend has been very lazy. I went to a baby shower yesterday and then spent the rest of the day doing laundry and watching football. My Florida State Seminoles held on to beat the Miami Hurricanes in a very nail biting game. I honestly thought I was going to have a heart attack at one point. There was lots of screaming at the TV and cursing out of players but, in the end, the Noles won... and not by a field goal either!

Today has been even lazier than yesterday. Joe and I finally managed to drag ourselves out to Wal-Mart for some groceries and now we're just waiting for the Bucs game to come on. Next weekend is our fifth wedding anniversary so we're going to work on planning something fun. I hope you all have a great week!

Target is bad

Bad, bad, bad... for me. I had to go to Target after work today to get a baby shower gift for a friend's shower on Saturday. Shopping for a gift for someone else's baby really isn't my favorite activity but I try to stay on the utility aisles, you know, diapers, wipes, the boring stuff, and stay away from the aisles with the adorable, "I love my mommy" bibs. I told myself that I was going to Target on a mission and that I needed to try not to wander. Well, you guessed it.... I wandered.

Let me start my story by filling you in on my new mission for this week. I'm trying to cut back on caffeine. I usually only drink one travel sized mug of coffee a day on the way to work. But, being that I have to get up at the Devil's hour (actual time 5:30am) I sometimes need a little more than a travel mug to get me going. Recently my coffee pots have been getting more and more full. What started at the 4 cup level has somehow creeped to the 8 cup level. I've been having a cup while I get ready for work, then taking my travel mug in the car with me. The other day I started thinking that I was having too much so I had the brilliant idea to stop drinking coffee and switch over to green tea. Yeah, not exactly the same "pick me up" as I'm used to.

I was especially tired this morning. I went to bed at 8:30 last night (!!!!!) and woke up still exhausted. I smudged on some eyeliner to try to camouflage the bags and dark circles and dragged my tired ass to work. I was half asleep the whole day. By the time 4:00 rolled around I had a lack of caffeine headache and regular old end-of-day exhaustion. I figured since I was going to Target anyway, I would get a chai tea latte at Starbucks. I know myself and know that I absolutely cannot, under any circumstances, drink a coffee at 4:00 in the afternoon and expect to sleep anytime before 2am. It just doesn't happen. I can't drink a soda with dinner because it keeps me awake. But, I thought a tea would be ok. Tea can't have nearly as much caffeine as a coffee, right? Wrong... almost. I have discovered, through a pretty simple check of the nutrition info on starbucks.com, that a chai latte only has 50mg of caffeine less than a caramel latte. So, needless to say, I'm pretty awake right now.

I'm getting completely off topic though. So, I'm in Target, I'm drinking my glorious chai tea latte, a soothing wave of warm black tea with spicy flavors is pulsing through me, and the aisles of new displays are welcoming me in. I'm intoxicated with shopping endorphins, everything I see just keeps getting cuter and cuter, bad Tricia is hitting good Tricia over the head with a new purse telling her that she needs to buy, buy, buy! Every rack of clothes is like a splendid surprise. I spent a while responsibly sizing up every item and how it would work perfectly into my current wardrobe, telling myself that I had to have it.

I decided my best bet would be to do what I came to Target to do and then I could come back and look at stuff for me. So, off to the baby department I went. I spent a while analyzing the registry and picked out my gifts and somehow ended up in the home section. This is where things really got crazy. I guess the best way to describe my time in the home section is to tell you that I want to redecorate my whole house... again. Well, ok, maybe not my whole house but at least my master bedroom, office, and guest room... and some pictures for the kitchen, and the family room... and maybe some pillows for the family room... and some new towels for the guest bathroom. Oh yeah, and then I need decorations for Halloween... and then Joe's family will be here for Thanksgiving so I have to get decorations for that. You ses my dilemma?

I was on information overload. I picked out like 5 bedding sets for my master bedroom. They are all completely different and, of course, would need Joe's stamp of approval before I could bring one home. I'm leaning towards a "greige" theme. Its a combination of grey and beige that is totally awesome and pretty and can be accessorized in lots of different ways. Out of all the redecorating that I did in my head today, that will probably be the first project to get done.

I am very proud of myself overall though. After all the oohing and ahhing over everything in Target, I managed to walk out with only what I went in to get in the first place, a baby shower gift. I can't say that there won't be return trips to pick up some of the "must-haves" from today but at least I suppressed my urge to buy for one day.

I have a very exciting weekend coming up. Joe and I are going to see Joel McHale (The Soup) tomorrow night at the Hard Rock Live. We think he's hilarious and are really excited to see him do stand up. I'll give you all the details at some point over the weekend. Enjoy!!

Are you ready for some football?

Wow you guys, I had an AMAZING weekend!! It was a great weekend for football in our house. The Seminoles won, the Bucs won, and the Gators lost... doesn't get much better than that! Joe and I had the extreme privilege of attending the Bucs game in Tampa Bay. They played the Green Bay Packers in the "Battle of the Bays".

We had amazing seats, 4 rows from the field in the Buccaneer end zone. For those not familiar with Raymond James Stadium, that is the end zone with the pirate ship. We've been to a couple of games before but they are always SO much fun. Its a total party atmosphere from the moment you park your car. People are tailgating, having a good time, the music is blasting, every one is hyped up and all there to cheer on their team. It was a hot day and at some points I felt like I was melting into my seat but it was so worth being there to watch Tampa beat Green Bay.

I've posted some pictures here for you all to enjoy:

Buccaneer Cove: ********************************************All huddled up:


Fly over before the game:**********************************Dexter Jackson and JON GRUDEN!!!!!!


We seriously had an amazing time. There were so many exciting and nail biting plays. There were lots of fumbles and interceptions, which aren't so great for the teams, but make for very fun, very exciting football.

It was a long, hot day and we were definitely exhausted yesterday (and still a little today) but we are so glad that we got to go. We're actually trying to put together another trip in December in honor of Joe's 30th birthday. We're going to try to get a group together to go so that we can tailgate too. I'll keep you all posted on that one.

Off the topic of football, I really wanted to thank everyone for the outpouring of support for my team on our Strides Against Breast Cancer walk. There is still time to go online and join my team to walk and there is always time to donate.

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend, let's push through this week and make it to Friday!! Joe and I have some very exciting plans coming up next weekend too. Stay tuned!

Let's do this!

I'm sure you all know by now about the terrible news Aunt Patty received this week. I think our whole family is completely scared and devastated. I feel very helpless and kind of pissed off. I know I can't "help" necessarily but I felt the need to do something, anything, to show my support.

So, I've decided to start a team and join a walk for breast cancer that is happening in our area on October 18th. I've started a team that I've named Patti's Perky Posse. I wanted a name that was funny, just like Aunt Patti is, but also that showed our support for her. I would love it if anyone out there would like to join us on our walk but would love it if you could make a donation as well.

This family alone has been affected by breast cancer many times. I'm sure everyone out there knows someone who has been affected by breast cancer. It scares me that someday I could be facing the same challenges that a lot of women are facing right now. We need to work towards a cure for this disease. We need to work together to not only save the women who are fighting cancer now but to save their daughters and granddaughters. Let's get together as women and fight for a cure.

I've made a team page but right now it is very boring. I'm hoping to figure out how to spruce it up so it'll be a little more interesting to look at. But, I'd love it if everyone would take a look anyway. You can get some information about the event, about my team, and learn how to donate. I appreciate everyone taking a minute to check it out. Do it for your mother or grandmother or friend or aunt or sister who is fighting breast cancer. Or, if you've not personally been affected by cancer, do it for my aunt. Trust me, she's worth it.

Making Strides Against Breast Cancer - 2008-2009