I didn't even have to use my A.K.

I got to say it was a good day. - Ice Cube

So I had the best day ever today! I know I say that all the time but today really was a good day. Actually, the "day" wasn't anything special but this afternoon was the bomb! It was so good that I kept saying to myself, "damn this day just keeps getting better".

I'm kind of scared to admit this here for fear that I'll fail and you all will see my failure but I made a new goal for myself that I'm pretty excited about. It's actually a very different goal for me. I've never resolved to do this before but I feel ready for the challenge. I have decided to start training to run a 5k. ME! The girl who can't run to the end of the driveway without getting winded. The girl who has only run a continuous single mile ONE TIME in her entire life. The girl who, even in elementary school, couldn't run laps without practically hyperventilating. Yes, me. I don't know why I suddenly want to do this but I have the overwhelming urge to do it. I did a little research online and found a really great program for beginning runners to follow. It's an 8 week program that can be stretched out to accommodate your skill level. And I started TODAY!

I was pretty worried when I headed to the gym this afternoon. The treadmill has always been my least favorite machine. My favorite is the elliptical with the bike coming in a distant second. I hardly ever go to the treadmill. I just hate it. But, I have this new goal and I really really want to succeed. So the program starts off pretty easily: a brisk 5 minute walk to warm up, then alternate between 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of walking, and continue for 25 minutes. You guys probably would've laughed your asses off when you saw me after I SUCCESSFULLY completed the entire first workout! If my t-shirt had a collar it would've totally been popped. My swagger was in full effect as I walked out of the gym. It was like I was in slow motion and had my own backing track and wind machine. I was (and still am) so proud of myself. I know I have a long way to go but today was a great start.

Then, when I got home, the new tan wedges that I ordered online were waiting on my door step! I've been searching for new tan wedges for months so to finally have them was so exciting. And to make it better, they are SO freaking cute in person! They are Nine West dark tan suede peep toe platforms with a shiny/lacquered sculpted wedge heel. I put them on and did the Ru-Paul runway walk down my hallway. Sachey Chantey. I can't wait to wear them to work tomorrow!!

After working it down my hallway, I decided to take the dogs for their walk. Yep, even after RUNNING at the gym I took my sweet babies on an almost two mile walk in the 94 degree afternoon. It was hotter than hell but the dogs love their walks so much that it makes it worth it. Walking them both by myself is pretty challenging. They like to pull and walk really fast so I'm usually either speed walking or pulling their leashes so they slow down. But today they were really good. They didn't pull too much, didn't chase any squirrels, and kept the pooping to a minimum. Which, believe me, is awesome. When you have to pick up the poo and then carry it around in a bag with you for 2 miles, the lighter the load, the better.

Oh yeah, and on top of ALL THAT, when I checked the mail today.... a new magazine! Ahhhh... seriously, the best afternoon ever!

Magical Sun

I don't know what it is about the sun that makes it so awesome. There has to be some kind of magical property in it. Like happiness and contentment just beam down in its rays. I don't know how it can simultaneously make a line dried comforter smell like the best thing I've ever smelled and also make my heart so happy just to have it touching my skin.

Today was another GORGEOUS day in the pool. Its hot here, no doubt, but there isn't much that can beat spending a day hanging out in the pool. I got up this morning, had my coffee while watching all my DVR'd shows. Then I met a girlfriend for yoga. It is so nice to have a workout that feels so good on both your body and your mind. After yoga, Joe and I hit the pool and spent the day just floating around.

We've decided that Sundays are our pool days for the rest of the summer. We agreed to work really hard on Saturdays and get all of our chores done so that Sunday can be for just relaxation. We cook out on the grill and listen to music and talk about all of the things we'd like to do to our yard. The dogs come out and swim with us and run around on the pool deck too. It's a whole family play day and a nice way to recharge before starting another work week.

Hopefully this week will be better than last. After my big "yay me" diet blog, I came down with a cold. Sore throat, stuffy/achy head, and an overall yucky feeling. I never realized how much of an emotional eater I was until the only thing I could think of to make myself feel better was food. And only comfort food. I craved ice cream and pizza and Mexican food and cake. Just anything to make me not feel sick. But, I'm proud to say that I didn't break. I stuck to the diet even though it was the last thing I wanted to do. I did fall off the exercise though. I skipped three days last week because I just couldn't muster the energy. But I'm ready to get back in the gym tomorrow.

I guess that's it for now. I'm going to try to enjoy the rest of the day before it's back to alarm clocks and high heels. I hope you all have a great week!

Little helpers

As you know, I've been dieting and exercising for about 3 weeks now. I'm sure you also know, I hate dieting and exercising. But I also hate jiggly cottage cheese thighs and a belly that makes me look pregnant when I am so OBVIOUSLY not. So, I'm doing it- no excuses, no bullshit. I have jumped head first into changing my life so that what I'm doing becomes more than a diet and exercise, it becomes my normal lifestyle.

Sounds great, right? Yeah well, it pretty much freaking sucks! I've got 30 years of bad behavior working against me. I know what all the good food tastes like and I know how awesome it feels to lay on the couch and watch TV. Just because I resolved to be healthier doesn't mean those memories just disappear. If anything it makes them seem even better because they are now the things I can't have. I was so overwhelmed with hunger and cravings the other day that I thought the taquitos on the 7-11 billboard looked delicious. Freaking taquitos! I don't even eat taquitos! Dieting definitely brings out the worst in me.

But, after almost three weeks, things are looking up. I do feel better. I am happy with the progress I'm making (5 and a half pounds, thank you very much). My clothes are fitting better, my belly is less bloated, I'm not gasping for air on the elliptical as often... I know I have a long way to go but I feel like I can actually do this. It's a big change for me. Do you realize I haven't eaten Chinese or Mexican food in almost a month?! A MONTH! That, for me, is huge. Chinese was an almost twice a week dinner here. And almost no alcohol either! I treated myself to one light beer on Sunday while we were lounging by the pool. But, other than that, I've been completely dry.

Even though I'm on a diet high right now, I know all too well how hard it has and will be for me to stick with it. There is always going to be a birthday party at work or the scent of McDonald's fries in the air or someone trying to tell you to "go ahead and indulge". So I've developed a few behaviors that have been very helpful to me over the last couple of weeks.

1. Be Prepared. Being starving is a dieter's worst moment. You're ravenous but everything in your house is frozen/needs to be chopped/has a lengthy recipe. The only thing you want to do is eat but the last thing you want to do is cook. Obviously, my first impulse is to go out or to order in. But, that's a dieter's disaster. So instead of letting myself get into that situation, I prepare for the inevitable. Joe and I have been grilling up a bag of chicken at a time so that we can easily pop a chicken breast in the microwave and shred it on a salad or microwave some frozen vegetables and have a meal. It has been a lifesaver more than once.

2. Motivational speaking. You know that voice in your head that's always telling you that you look fat or you not capable of doing something? That bitch has got to go. I know it sounds super corny but you have to talk yourself up. You have to start seeing yourself as strong and capable and in control of your life. It's too easy to give in to that degrading voice and end up sitting on the couch eating cookies. It takes guts to change. I'm a strong, smart, independent and capable woman. I can resist a cookie. It's just a cookie after all. And I am trying VERY hard not to let myself make excuses for why I can't go to the gym. I have a bright orange piece of paper on my computer that just says, "NO EXCUSES", in big black letters. When I'm feeling my resolve waver, I look at that piece of paper and say, "FINE", and I take my butt to the gym.

3. Comparisons. This probably isn't the best advice ever but it helps me a ton. I talk shit about people in my head. I know, I know, it's really mean, but it helps! When co-workers bring in cookies or donuts or bagels or a cake, I help calm my desire by telling myself that they can eat that crap if they want to and get big and fat and disgusting but I will not do it. Watching them eat the stuff I'll just think "oink, oink you big pig". God, reading this sounds so horrible but it really, really helps.

4. Music. I've said on this blog many many times how music motivates me or means different things to me. One HUGE way music helps me is at the gym. I love when a new song comes on and gets me all pumped up. It makes working out just a tiny bit more fun. 'Cause you know that shit ain't fun. But the music gets you through it. Before you know it, you've been on the elliptical for a half hour and you're done.

These past couple of weeks have been rough. There has been some extreme bitchiness, lots of cravings, feelings of doubt, and plenty of shit talking. But, thus far, I have been able to push through and I stand/blog here before you on the right track. I guess the funniest part about it is there isn't a end date on this. This is a forever thing. It has to be. I can't ever go back to the way I was. Sure I'm going to slip up, it's inevitable, but as long as the good stuff becomes my normal I think I'll make it.

The Ultimate Girly Indulgence

Of the many girly cliches, my absolute favorite would have to be the chick-flick bath. You know, the baths that women in movies take... glass of wine, tons of bubbles, candles everywhere. The kind of bath that makes you ask, "who does that?" Well, I do. And you should.

There is something about the chick-flick bath that is so over-the-top cheesy that you can't help but to love it. It is just such a girly treat that is 100% self-indulgent. Because it is so fancy and requires some preparation, the chick-flick bath is only a once in a while kind of luxury, but so worth it.

Once the dogs have been walked, or the kids are in bed, tell your hubby/boyfriend/cat that you are going to take a bath and don't want to be disturbed for at least a half hour. Feel free to ask for more time if you can get away with it. And don't say you don't have time! You can catch up on your DVR'd episodes of "Paris Hilton's My New BFF" later.

Now, once you've made your escape from reality, you'll need to set the scene for your ultimate relaxation. Gather up some votive candles, a glass of wine or, if you've got it, pop open that bottle of champagne that's been sitting in your refrigerator since New Year's Eve. Even a glass of ice water with lemon will work. Fill up the tub with water as hot as you can stand (you'll be in there a while, it'll cool off) and add in your bubble bath. Feel free to break open that beautiful bottle someone gave you as a gift or, in a pinch, use your kid's bubble bath. Set the candles up all around the room, including on the ledges of the tub. Grab a CD player or your i-pod or even your alarm clock radio (just make sure you turn it around so you can't see the time) and turn on some Sade or Enya or Kenny G or whatever else helps you relax. Turn off the lights and melt into your hot, bubbly tub.

The only thing to do now is to lay back and relax. If you want to shave your legs or pumice your feet, feel free. But, the only requirement in the chick-flick bath is to soak and unwind. Sip your wine/beverage of choice, listen to your music, and just let it all go. I usually soak until I get pruny or my drink runs out, but you should stay as long as you're enjoying yourself.

I don't know if I have many male readers but, if you're out there reading this, this is a great way for men to score points with their lady. Guys, why not offer to do the dishes while your wife/girlfriend goes to take a bath? Bonus points if you get the candles and the wine ready for her... maybe even buy her some new bubble bath! Come on, that's not much effort to make her feel very special and loved! Plus, it is a pretty inexpensive gift to give!

Ladies, once you've had enough of your bath, try to extend the relaxed feeling while you ready yourself for your entrance back into the real world. Wrap your self in a big towel or robe, lay down on your bed or couch (anywhere that's quiet) and just cool/dry off. For an extra special treat, before you get into the bath, throw a damp washcloth in the refrigerator and then lay it on your face after you've gotten out of the tub. It's very refreshing. Slather your thickest, richest lotion all over and get into your pajamas. But not your normal over sized t-shirt and holey sweat pants. Put on a cute pair of pajamas for a change! Then, look in the mirror, notice your rosy cheeks and your relaxed glow, and smile at yourself. Feels good doesn't it?

I hope that you'll all find time to squeeze in a couple of chick-flick baths throughout the year. It is a very practical way to relax and feel good about yourself. It may not be much but, believe me, it's worth every second.

The Battle Has Begun

So I've decided that my ass has gotten big enough and I am ready to do something about it. I have officially begun exercising again and have been watching what I eat. It's been three days and I am utterly and completely miserable. I'm like a crack addict jonesing for my next hit. But instead of actual crack, I would like to satisfy my desires with pancakes and Double Stuf Oreos and cheese puffs and pizza and Mexican food. Oh, and don't forget the booze.

I just don't understand how this happened. I mean, I know how I gained the weight, but I don't know how the addiction to food happened. What makes food so desirable and irresistible? I try to reason with myself that it is ONLY food. It's only purpose is fuel my body. Once my body is fueled, it doesn't need any extras. The extras are what are making me fat. But the extras are so freaking delicious!

I could write a novel about the "why, why, why's" of the world but it wouldn't do me any good. Why does the bad for you food taste so much better than the good for you food? Why can other people eat whatever they want and not gain weight? Why is it so much easier to gain weight than to lose it? The "why's" go on forever. And that's just the food/exercise chapter! But I can't get all caught up in the "why's". That won't do me any good. I'll never know why. I just have to accept the "why's" for what they are and move on to the solutions.

Ah, the solutions. There are no big mysteries in how to lose weight. Eat less, exercise more. It's simple, really. The problem is with the execution of the plan. Getting off your ass and into the gym, staying motivated and pushing yourself while there, choosing vegetables over cookies, those are the hard parts. I am yelling at myself constantly during the day to stay motivated. Yesterday on the elliptical I was practically cussing myself out inside my head. I was saying, "move your ass you spoiled, selfish cow" and "Tricia, you dumb bitch, it's only 5 more minutes" and other very mean things. But those things seem to help me.

What doesn't help is that temptation is everywhere! Every time you turn around someone is having a birthday or offering up some kind of treat. You're inundated with food commercials on TV or the sight of fast food restaurants on every corner. Just today a co-worker brought in a tray full of bagels, two boxes of Krispy Kreme donuts, and a Tupperware of homemade fudge brownies! Every time I walk by our kitchen I curse those brownies. I keep telling myself that if my co-workers want to eat that crap and become giant, disgusting hogs then they can but I will not partake. Even though every cell in my body is screaming for one of those brownies.

I know what you're all probably thinking... If you just had a small serving, you might be satisfied and not want it. Bullshit! I know me and I know that if one crumb of that brownie were to hit my tongue I would be done for! I'd probably devour three by the end of the day. I have no self-control. I am not the girl who can go to a restaurant and only eat half of her meal and have the waiter box up the other. I'm not the girl who can count out 12 potato chips from the bag and then walk away. I'm not the girl who can order a salad at McDonalds instead of a Quarter Pounder and fries. I'm not and I know I'm not. That's why I have remained overweight for the majority of my thirty years.

I know that the only way to really lose the weight and keep it off is to completely change my life. My bad habits have got to go, and not temporarily. No, I need a long term plan so that I don't slip back into the bad habits that I love so much. So no more fucking around. I am serious. It's ONLY food. And the gym is ONLY 30 minutes to an hour of my life. So what if I miss out on a piece of cake here and there? I think I've had enough in my lifetime to make up for missing some. So what if I miss out on a TV show? A TV show that will mean nothing to me in the long run. What will mean something to me is feeling better and looking better. I don't want to waste these years by being lazy. The years go by too fast to miss out on anything.

Feel free to cuss me out and keep me motivated. I need all the help I can get!

P.S. Horror of horrors, I just re-read this blog and realized that I sound very similar to a Kathy comic. Just hope that I don't start pointing my finger and yelling "ACK".

Just beachy

Can Joe and I really be so lucky to keep having one amazing vacation after another or are we just good company? We headed home this morning, leaving another fantastic vacation behind us. We had a great time in Longboat Key. The weather was beautiful, the location was gorgeous, and the company was even better.

We rolled onto Longboat Key around noon on Friday. It was my first trip to the island and I have to say that I quickly fell in love with the scenery. The Gulf of Mexico is a gorgeous bright turquoise that is hard not to stare at. Around the island the properties are very well manicured with lush green grass, huge magenta bougainvillea, varying shades of plumeria trees, and tons of other beautiful mounds of brightly colored flowers. Driving down the street through the island we could gawk at some very impressive beach houses with huge metal gates and intricately paved driveways. It was definitely a different type of beach town than I'm used to here.

We got to our hotel, the Longboat Key Hilton, and were happy that we were able to check in early. We're not quite sure how we got so lucky, but Joe and I scored one of the best rooms at the hotel. We were on the 5th floor (the top) and had an amazing, huge suite. We had a large bedroom and an adjoining living room that was as big as the bedroom. We also had two balconies and could see both the ocean and the bay from either one. The rooms together were seriously half the size of my house!

Once we were checked in and settled, we headed out to lunch and to meet up with all our friends. We had one really heavy rain storm while we were at lunch but the sky quickly turned back to sunny when we were done eating. Joe and I decided to take advantage and hit the pool. We had a drink and lounged in the pool for a couple of hours and then decided to drive around and check out the rest of the island. We drove to the downtown area, St. Armands Circle, which was so cute. There were shops and restaurants and little sidewalk cafes. It was so charming. We kept going and ended up in downtown Sarasota. We again admired the many beautiful houses along the bay and the marinas and huge condos that were scattered everywhere. When we got back my girlfriend and I took a couple of beers down to the beach and watched a beautiful sunset while lounging on some beach chairs.

Saturday was a pretty lazy day. We got up and went to breakfast then quickly changed into our bathing suits and hit the beach. Everyone kept telling me how flat and calm the Gulf beaches were. Not this beach! I don't know it was a storm or if we just picked the wrong beach because the water was actually quite choppy and there was lots of seaweed floating around. Anyone who knows me knows that I am terrified of ocean creatures and flip out when anything touches my leg while standing in the ocean so I chose not to venture too far into the water. I pretty much enjoyed the sight, sound, and smell of the ocean while safely perched on my lounge chair. Once we had our fill of the beach we headed to the pool for a dip. And even after all that, I still had several hours before we had to be ready for the wedding and I spent the majority of that time on the balcony of our hotel room reading and watching the ocean.

I've never been to a wedding on the beach. I've also never been to a wedding in which I stayed at the hotel where the wedding was taking place. I have to say that I truly enjoyed the experience! To be able to walk out from our hotel room to the wedding ceremony and then just as easily walk back to our room after the reception was great. So convenient! And there really is something to be said about having all the guests tanned and relaxed and enjoying their vacations as well as celebrating a marriage. Everyone was just in such a great mood.

The wedding was beautiful. The bride was gorgeous and glowing and she and her groom truly, truly looked so happy to be married. I honestly could look at them and say that they had found their match in each other. We all had a great time dancing and laughing at the reception, the open bar helped. I did have to coax Joe onto the dance floor a couple more times than he would've liked, leading him to dub me a, "dance rapist", and telling me that, "no means no". Hey, is it really so bad that I want to dance with my husband?! I think not! We finished out the night pretty much the best way possible, with cupcakes. They were so delicious I had to smuggle two more out with me when we left. And I promptly ate one of them this morning while having my coffee.

All in all, we had a great time. I'm so glad that amazing vacations like these are only a short drive away. Florida really is a beautiful place to live and we should take more time to explore it and enjoy it. And I'm proud to say I lived up to the motto I'd set forward for this vacation, "sun and the sand and a drink in my hand, with no bottom..." I can't wait for the next one.

Life's a Beach

Joe and I are taking our long-awaited beach vacation this weekend. We're heading over to Longboat Key tomorrow for a friend's wedding. I cannot explain to you guys how much I am looking forward to this vacation. Not only will I be lounging on a beautiful beach, I will also be with my friends who I haven't seen in a really long time. I'm just really looking forward to that.

The only thing standing in the way of my vacation is the long work day I have ahead of me. Things are slow here so it makes the days drag on for what seems like forever! I have been amusing myself with a couple of new websites. If any of you are looking for something to occupy your time, you may want to give these a look.

www.overheardintheoffice.com - This website has been cracking me up for the last couple of days. It's just things that people have sent in that they have overheard co-workers talking about at work. Some of the things people say are hilarious. I'm sure everyone who's ever worked in an office setting will enjoy reading the things these dummies say.

www.imboycrazy.com - I'm not quite sure what I find so appealing about this site. It's a twenty-something girl who writes about love and life. Like an emo Carrie Bradshaw. She just seems like a really cool person and she is a good writer. She has interesting thoughts and I appreciate that.

www.laineygossip.com - I know, I know, another gossip site. Yes, I already visit way too many gossip sites as it is but this one is quickly becoming one of my favorites. Lainey is from Vancouver and always has lots of inside Twilight information. She's also bitchy as hell, in a way that I love. She doesn't update as much as Perez but she's always got good pictures and lots of snarky comments to go with them. She's definitely worth checking out.

Anyway, that should keep you guys all entertained until I get back from my vacation. I updated my play list to correspond to my current beach state of mind. And I am hoping to follow in Kenny Chesney's words this weekend, "the sun and the sand and a drink in my hand with no bottom..." Have a great weekend!