40 weeks in pictures

I took my 40 week belly picture tonight before Joe and I headed out for our last pre-baby dinner. When I uploaded the picture I browsed through all the other pictures I've taken over the last 40 weeks. It is really crazy to see how much I've changed. I can't believe how skinny I was way back in November when I found out I was pregnant. I had hit my goal weight and was exercising like crazy. It is interesting to see the changes in each of the pictures. I can definitely tell the weeks that I felt better and the weeks that I felt like crap. I think its funny that the bigger I got the happier and better I looked. Maybe because I actually started looking pregnant and not just fat. Or maybe that my getting bigger coincided with summer and pool season. Either way, here is a look back at the last 40 weeks of my life.

6 weeks: 8 weeks:
10 weeks:12 weeks:
14 weeks:16 weeks:
18 weeks:20 weeks:
22 weeks:24 weeks:
26 weeks:28 weeks:
33 weeks:36 weeks:
37 weeks:39 weeks:
40 weeks:

And P.S.- It looks like the chick in my ticker does nothing when I hit 40 weeks! Bummer!

The end is near

Y'all know that I am ready for my baby to be here. After my near nervous breakdown yesterday when the doctor rescheduled my appointment to today, I REALLY knew it was time. I had a heaving, snotty, big sloppy teared breakdown yesterday when the nurse called to reschedule my appointment. Being off work and not having anything else to do but wait on baby's arrival has me anxious for ANY kind of excitement in my day. Even if that excitement is only from a weekly doctor appointment. I kind of scared myself with how disappointed I was. I mean, really. Kind of pathetic.

So I finally got my appointment this afternoon and have made a little progress since last week. I'm dilated between 2-3cm, my cervix is soft and the baby's head is all the way down. She said everything is ready to go, I just need some regular contractions. She did stretch me again and stripped my membranes today (OUCH!!!) so hopefully that will get things moving. But, as I sit here on my exercise ball, I'm having no cramps or contractions AT ALL so who knows. She said to walk and have sex and hopefully that will help get the contractions going.

But, y'all, I totally wimped out on the waiting for baby to be ready on his own. I did what I said I'd never do. I scheduled an induction date. Yup, if Evan doesn't come on his own I will be induced Monday morning. I was a little worried about the decision but after talking to the doctor and expressing my concerns about starting an induction before my body was ready she eased my fears and told me that essentially my body IS ready, I just need contractions. She said everything is favorable for a successful induction. So, I went for it. I feel better knowing there is an end in sight and that I will meet my baby boy early next week. Scary but exciting all at the same time.

Hopefully it won't come to that and I'll go into labor on my own sometime between now and Monday. I'm really anxious and excited about all the changes that are about to happen in our lives. I know this little baby is going to turn our lives upside down but I absofreakinglutely cannot wait!!

Blah, blah, blah

I'm tired and cranky and still pregnant blah, blah, blah. There really isn't much more I can say at this point. I guess me and Evan are in this for the long haul. The only real big change right now is that I am no longer working. And that stresses me out to no end. Of course, what doesn't stress me out?

After my doctor appointment last week and my subsequent bloody show, I thought for sure I'd be in labor soon. I thought I would go into labor on Friday night. Don't ask me why I thought I knew more than Mother Nature. So I said my goodbyes to all my co-workers on Thursday, turned in my badge and my keys and started my maternity leave. I spent Friday cooking and cleaning and doing some last minute shopping. I got all the laundry and every last little chore that I could think of done. Now, here it is, Sunday afternoon and no action yet. Not even a little bit. And I'm staring down the barrel of a new "work" week. A work week that I most likely could have handled. I'm sure I'd be miserable but at least I'd be making money and not using up precious vacation time.

Joe is thrilled that I'll be staying home. He's glad that I'll be able to "rest" and "relax" before the baby comes. You'd think after almost 9 years together he'd know me better than that. I'm already stressing the fact that I'm not in labor yet. I'm sure with every passing day it's only going to get worse. I'm still not ready to discuss induction yet. The doctor hasn't even brought it up at this point. I'm a firm believer that the baby will come when he is ready. I just wish he was ready right now.

So anyway, I guess I'll just be hanging around the house this week over analyzing every little cramp and twinge and secretion. It's kind of like going through fertility treatments again. Hopefully my next blog entry will be a birth story but, at the rate I'm going, it may still be a while. I do have another week's belly picture to share though. Here I am at 39 weeks:

Down to business

For some reason I feel like I need to give a disclaimer that this blog post could be a little tmi. If you've been reading the blog for a while you should be used to the going's on in my uterus/vagina/ovaries but, just in case, some parts of this blog could be considered tmi.

I had another doctor appointment today and am happy to report that I am making progress! I'm up to 2 centimeters dilated now, my cervix is "very soft" and the baby's head has moved down a little more than last week. So, definite progress. I am actually really surprised. As of yesterday I was convinced that baby Evan would be staying inside indefinitely.

I was telling the doctor that I am definitely ready to have the baby so while she was checking my cervix she tried to "stretch" it a little for me to help get me going. As if having her whole hand up there wasn't painful enough already. That shizz HURT!! Wow. I almost asked her for an epidural right then and there. There was some blood on her glove when she pulled her hand out and she described that as "bloody show". I've heard your bloody show comes when you're about to go into labor so I'm not convinced that's what it really was. I think her trying to pry open my cervix with her hand may have had more to do with the blood than the onset of labor. I did bleed for a little while after the appointment but am not bleeding any more. I am having lots of cramping though. Not really painful, just uncomfortable.

I asked the doctor about all the old wives tales about getting labor started and she said the only one that's true is having sex. Yay. Apparently there is some kind of hormone or protein in semen that helps the cervix soften and dilate. She said they actually use a synthetic version of that protein in induction medications. I guess no amount of spicy food can replicate that. So, yeah, while I'm not thrilled about it, I will do what I have to do and hopefully will be meeting my baby boy very soon!

Maybe, Maybe Not

"Yes I'm still pregnant, Yes I'm still here, Yes I'm uncomfortable, Yes I'm ready for baby". I need a sign or a button or a t-shirt that says that. Maybe that would head off EVERY SINGLE PERSON I run into throughout my day who has to ask the same questions. I know people mean well and they are just being nice but COME ON! Some questions have obvious answers. Just say good morning and move on.

So you may be able to tell that work kind of sucks right now. I'm just over it. I'm over people and their dumb-assness. I guess like a diminished immune system can lead to illness, my diminished tolerance of dumb asses has led to a major attitude problem. Because, you know, at work I have to keep my comments to myself. And that usually leads to major eye rolls when I'm in private and an overall irritability with everyone I come in contact with.

Joe wants me to stop working after Friday. I really, really would like to continue working as long as I can. Well, it's not that I would LIKE to continue working but I would like to continue making an income and save my time for after baby's arrival. I just can't imagine having to walk back into that office next week. I don't know that I can handle it. So the perfect scenario would be to go into labor now so I don't have to go back.

I've been trying to get things going by trying just about every old wives tale there is. I've been walking on the treadmill, bouncing/rocking on the exercise ball, eating spicy food, doing lunges... so far nothing. I was one centimeter dilated at my appointment last Wednesday and am hoping there is a little more progress this Wednesday. Last week the baby's head was still high and I feel like it still is. Even though I'm having more aches and pains in my hips and pelvis than I am in my ribs, I'm not feeling a ton of pressure down there yet.

So, that's where we stand right now. I fully intend to wait for baby E to tell me when he's ready but I'm not sure if I'll be waiting at work or at home on the couch!

Butterball

Okay, so he's not a beluga whale. We had our ultrasound today and baby Evan is measuring in at a healthy 7 pounds 5 ounces. Whew!! So if he grows at the estimated 1/2 pound per week rate he should be around the eight and a half pound range when he's born. Let's just hope I don't go late! They said I have quite a bit of amniotic fluid around the baby so that is probably the reason I'm measuring ahead.

The ultrasound was great! We got some really amazing pictures of the baby. We think he looks like Joe. I think he actually looks a lot like my niece Riley but she looked a lot like Joe when she was born. He's got the sweetest little lips I've ever seen! The ultrasound tech also said that he has hair! She couldn't get any pictures of it but she showed us during the ultrasound. I thought for sure we'd be having a bald baby but looks like he'll be hairy! He's head down too so hopefully he'll stay in that position.

Anyway, here is your first look at my sweet baby boy!!!

Side by Side Comparison

Ha!! Here's a good one for you! I decided to start taking belly pictures weekly since I seem to be growing by leaps and bounds. Plus, knowing that I could go into labor at any time now, I thought it would be good to document all the final weeks.

So last night Joe and I went out to dinner with a friend. Since I don't get dressed up that often any more I decided to go ahead and do a 37 week belly picture on our way out. After I uploaded the pictures this morning I noticed my outfit looked really familiar. Looking back I realized I'd worn the exact same outfit in my 22 week belly picture. But the difference in belly size is just too hilarious not to share.

I looked back at the blog I posted at 22 weeks and laughed when I read that I thought I hadn't grown much but my "bump" was definitely there. LOL... Yeah. Seeing the difference now I realize I had no idea what a "bump" was back then.

So, just for fun...

A different perspective

I have to thank my cousin Kristen for inspiring me to take another look at these last three weeks of pregnancy. Up until now I've only been thinking of the miserable part of pregnancy. But, her comment in my last blog really made me stop and think about how lucky I am right now. She said, "Enjoy the last few moments when it is just you and your little man. After he is out, it's who's got him, where is he, is he safe? Now is the time when you know he is safe, where he is, isn't going without."

I never even thought about it that way until reading her comment but it is so true. Here I am complaining about all the ways being pregnant is making me uncomfortable when I should be relishing these last few moments where it is just me and him. Once he's an outside baby, we'll never have these little private moments anymore. It'll no longer be just me who can feel him squirming around or kicking or having the hiccups. It'll no longer be just me who is 100% taking care of him and protecting him and keeping him warm and happy. No, I'll have to share him with the rest of the world. Not that I wouldn't mind somebody else carrying him around for a while right now but to have him all to myself is kind of nice.

I keep saying that I'm just ready for him to be here, that I'm ready to not be pregnant anymore and I think that really comes from being anxious just to finally meet this little human I've been growing for 9 months. I want to see what he'll look like, how big he'll be, what his little personality will be like. I'm just so ready to hold him in my arms and kiss his little fingers and talk to him face to face. I can't wait to look into his eyes and have him look back into mine and to know that me and Joe MADE him. We MADE a HUMAN! It's just so crazy. All these years that I've wanted this more than anything else in the world and now we're a mere 3 weeks from realizing that dream. It truly is a moment I never thought I'd see.

So, thank you Kristen for helping me realize that I need to take time to enjoy these last few moments I have alone with my son.

"The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow, for babies grow up, I've learned to my sorrow. So quiet down cobwebs. Dust go to sleep. I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep." - Ruth Hulburt Hamilton

Baby Beluga

So I had another doctor appointment today and have grown another 2 cm!!! What the hell?!! So now, at 36 weeks 4 days I am measuring 39 weeks!!! Seriously, WHAT THE HELL?! I haven't gained any weight in the last week so that's all baby.

Of course now I'm terrified that I'm carrying a baby whale in my uterus. I have serious concerns that my sweet baby boy is going to be a ten pound behemoth and will kill me when I try to push him out. OR I won't be able to push him out and they'll have to cut me open like a suspected human-eating shark and rip him out.

I think what worries me most isn't the fact that I'm measuring two and a half weeks ahead but that when I asked the doctor what that meant she didn't give me the standard, "it's fine". Instead she said she wanted to wait until I had my growth ultrasound on Monday so she could see what was going on with the baby. Um, huh? What do you mean, "what's going on with the baby"? Do you mean you want to see if I'm already carrying a toddler in there? And if I am carrying an exceptionally large fetus, does that mean that you're going to try to induce me early? When she saw what could only have been a look of pure horror on my face she did try to reassure me by saying that the baby could be in a position that is causing me to measure large.

So I guess you could say my appointment didn't quite go as planned. I honestly expected her to measure me and have stayed the same from last week. But, everything else about the appointment actually went pretty well. My blood pressure is still great and the baby's heartbeat is still great. I'm not really having any issues other than being uncomfortable. I'm not sleeping well and my back is killing me it's hard to get comfortable and I spend the majority of my days in the bathroom. But I know all that stuff is pretty much par for the course at this point. I start internal exams next Wednesday. I'm not looking forward to the exams but I am looking forward to seeing if I'm making any progress down there. I'm pretty sure nothing is happening but I'd love to be pleasantly surprised.

Anyway, breast feeding class tomorrow. I'll keep you posted.

36 weeks and counting

Let me give you a quick disclaimer for my 36 week belly picture. I look like hell. I even tried to photo edit this picture to make myself look better but even photo shop couldn't help. That's pretty bad. I think what makes it so bad is my horrible attitude. I was not feeling up to much the day we took this picture. I was tired and grumpy and felt like there were a million things around the house that needed to be done. And the last thing I wanted to do was get in a bikini and prance around a public pool. But I did and I'm really glad I did because I had a really good time.

We went over to Disney on Saturday to hang out with my mom and sisters and the kids. They had gotten a room at one of the resorts so we took advantage of a free resort pool for the day. We had a really fun time hanging out with everyone and lounging around. I felt a little uncomfortable wearing a bikini with my big belly hanging out. I felt like people were staring and judging. But, I refuse to pay $30 for a maternity bathing suit that I will only wear one time. And all my tankinis just don't fit the belly anymore. And, honestly, there was a flabby old lady at the pool in an American flag bikini that I looked way better than anyway. Later on we headed out to Downtown Disney and had a fun dinner at Rain Forest Cafe. It was a really nice day.

I discovered, however, that I can no longer tolerate a car ride longer than 35 minutes or so. The ride home was ridiculously uncomfortable. Even a reclined and heated seat could not help me. I've been getting more Braxton Hicks lately and between those and having to pee every 13.6 seconds and those goddamn restless legs, I am seriously miserable in the car. By the time we got close to the house I was cursing the low speed limits and those who decided to follow it. Joe and I vowed no more long car trips until I have the baby.

The rest of the weekend has been very low-key. We did some running around yesterday for groceries and miscellaneous stuff and got the house cleaned up. Today we didn't leave the house at all. We stayed in and finished up some chores and my niece and sister-in-law came over for lunch. The weather here this weekend was so crappy that being outside just wasn't going to happen. It was very cloudy and overcast and very, very humid with rain off and on. Joe and I did an impromptu photo shoot with some bare belly pictures. I knew I definitely did not want to do professional maternity pictures because I think a lot of times they're really cheesy but I did want some bare belly pictures. So we laid out a black sheet and did some belly close ups that I converted to black and white. I don't know if I'm ready to share them yet though. I have to look at them some more and figure out if I think they're too cheesy.

This week should hopefully go pretty quickly. The 4 day work week should help but I've got a doctor's appointment on Wednesday afternoon (I'm going every week now!) and Joe and I have our breast feeding class on Thursday night. Friday night I'm going for a hair cut and color to hopefully get me through my maternity leave. And then we're right back into another weekend. We need to get our hospital tour done so we're going to try to do that next Sunday afternoon. We are going to be busy! The following Monday I finally get to go for my growth ultrasound. I was supposed to go this week but the doctor is out of town. I'm anxious to see how big they estimate Evan to be. I've heard those ultrasounds can be inaccurate but just to have an estimate would be great. As long as they don't estimate 10 pounds or something crazy like that! I'll keep you all posted on anything exciting that happens... if it happens.

And here is the 36 week belly picture from hell...