Something is up with me and I can't figure out what it is. I am not myself lately and it is driving me nuts. Maybe its the holidays, maybe the cold weather, but I have been feeling blah.
I hate daylight savings time. I don't understand why we have to change the clocks. I hate that it is dark at 6:00! It makes the evenings so boring. All I do is lie on the couch and watch TV until I head to bed around 9. Thank goodness that I get home at 4:30 or I would really be miserable. At least I get a chance to walk the dogs before the sun goes down.
I'm a humongous fat cow right now. I'm so bloated and gross that I can hardly stand to look at myself. I'm only up like 7 pounds but those pounds are all in my gut. I only have one pair of pants that fit and don't give me muffin top and I'm terrified of wearing a dress and being mistaken as pregnant again. I stopped going to the gym so now all the muscle tone that I gained in my arms and legs is disappearing into ugly, mushy, shaky flab.
You would think that my fatness would encourage me to exercise and eat healthy. Wrong. This week has been a nutritional disaster. Monday we had the boys over for football and I made pigs in a blanket, buffalo chicken dip, sweet and spicy meatballs, chips and french onion dip, and I ate just like those boys did. Tuesday I picked up a coffee and a scone on my way to work, then got some greasy, fried sesame chicken from the cafeteria for lunch, then came home and had a very nutritious dinner of chips and french onion dip. Seriously! I did a little better today. I had soup and a salad for lunch then BBQ chicken, mashed potatoes and green beans for dinner. But, before dinner I had a piece of birthday cake and more chips and dip! I'm like a garbage disposal. And now I feel disgusting like grease is just oozing out of my pores. I can feel myself producing more fat as I type.
I don't even want to get dressed in the morning. Me, not wanting to get dressed! Even my high heels can't change my piss poor attitude. I was miserable wearing them yesterday and today. What is happening to me?! Its taken me at least three wardrobe changes to get out of the house every morning this week. Usually I'm very prepared, I pick out my clothes the night before so that I don't have to rush in the mornings. But since I've been exhausted and going to bed at 9, I haven't been doing it.
I've also been incredibly restless. When I'm at work I can't wait to get home. I get annoyed with myself for making stupid little mistakes and have less patience with my co-workers and customers. Its so exhausting being "on" all day that as soon at 4:00 rolls around, I just crash and am all moody and irritable.
I cringe every time someone mentions Christmas so maybe that's what my problem is. I just want it to be summer again so that the sun doesn't go down until 8, I can lounge in my pool and get some sun on my pasty pale legs, and so I don't have to dress in layers to stay warm. Hopefully it won't take me that long to break out of my funk because it'll be a miserable couple of months if it does.
Thanks for "listening" to me rant.
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3 comments:
I am totally feeling you on the blah mood. I think it really is just the time of the year. I eat non stop!!! I stopped going grocery shopping in hopes that I would run out of things in my house to eat but I always seem to find something! I have also been really irritated lately with everyone and everything. I think I am just really bored!!!
It is the time change and the weather and everytime you turn on TV people are loosing their jobs, homes etc---it is soooo depressing----I TRY and be positive and think about the fact that we do have clothes to wear even tho they may be tight, a job to go to--food on our table --a warm cozy house --people who love us-- nice cars---and we are a lot more fortunate than a lot of others right now----be thankful -----but I think the weather and full moon still might might have a lot to do with it-----I am ready for bed at 9 but force myself to stay up----everyone just has a lot to deal with at the holidays and it is very stressful----take a deep breath--tomorrow is another day--- I love you !!!! xoxoxoxo Mom
I hear ya! I am not happy with my body so I just eat more b/c I feel like at least that is something that makes me happy lol. Plus I suffer from boredom eating since we stay at home alot. I can't wait for summer either! I hope we all can rent a beach house and then we can all eat together!!!!
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