Annoyance vs. Exuberance

I really hate the force that is "The WalMart". Yes, a "The" in front of the name is totally warranted as WalMart is an entity so powerful that very few can resist. I hate that I keep going back to The Walmart. I curse it every time. But, we just absolutely can not beat the prices so we continue to go back.

I had to go there this morning to return something and pick up a few items. Even pulling in the parking lot annoys me. The customers there don't know how to drive or park or yield to pedestrians. I'm always afraid that once I step out of the car that someone will either snatch my purse or abduct me. I keep my eyes straight ahead, my purse tight to my side, my list firmly in hand, and my elbows primed to jab anyone who gets in my way.

Since I am such a begrudgingly loyal customer of The WalMart, I pretty much know the place like the back of my hand. I have a pattern that I follow almost every time I'm there. First toiletries, then dog food, then past the fabric department and toys towards the food. I start in the dairy department and work my way forward. I have found that it is the quickest and most efficient route through The WalMart.

Today I only needed a few things so I sped through the dog food department and headed towards the food. But today, for some reason, the customers were extra annoying and in my way. I fully expect dumb asses when I go to The WalMart but today there was a special breed out which I felt were only there to piss me off. Needless to say, by the time I was out of there I was in a very fowl mood. I felt the only thing that could pull me out of my funk was to treat myself to a Starbucks from the neighboring Target.

I pulled into Target's parking lot and, still annoyed from The WalMart, almost rear ended a van pulling out of a handicap spot. I parked and made my way in, only to be cart blocked by some old lady who either didn't see me trying to get around her or was sent over by The WalMart to punish me for defecting to Target. I finally made it past her and headed to Starbucks. I got my Skinny Caramel Latte and as I took the first warm, glorious sip I glanced over towards the women's clothing department. Then, it was as if the heavens parted and a chorus of angels began to sing because there, in a brand new display, was the only thing that could save me from my crummy mood.... BATHING SUITS!!!!!

I had to move closer to make sure I wasn't hallucinating. But I wasn't, they were there, racks and racks of colorful bathing suits and cover ups! My mood lifted and I suddenly started to warm up and get the rosy glow back in my cheeks. I started imagining me in my pool, cool drink in hand, sun shining down from a cloudless blue sky, Jimmy Buffet singing me tales of sunsets and oysters, margaritas and cheeseburgers. Because if bathing suits are starting to be stocked it must mean that summer is just around the corner. I have officially bought the last article of winter clothing this year. From this point forward, all clothing/shoe purchases will be for summer items only.

That trip to Target has officially lifted me out of the winter blues. For now I know that it won't be much longer before I can officially retire the sweaters and long pants and take the extra blanket off the bed. Yes, pretty soon I will again have color on my face and my legs and an overall glow from the happiness that summer brings. What a great way to start the New Year!