Babies have a lot of stuff

Joe and I made our first official trip out to look at baby stuff this weekend. There is a bedding set we wanted to see at Pottery Barn Kids and decided to make a day of it. Unfortunately, the set we wanted to look out was sold out at the store so we never did get to see it in person. But, we did see lots of cute little stuff that would be fun to have. We didn't buy anything though. We're not quite there yet.

After PBK we ran over to Babies R Us, which has got to be the most confusing and overwhelming place ever. It's too much. Too many things to look at and too many decisions to make. How the hell do you sort through all that stuff and figure out what you actually need? And then once you figure out what you need, how do you know which one to choose? I know I need to be looking for safety and user-friendliness and durability but what about price? What makes the $500 stroller better than the $200 stroller? And don't even get me started on bottles! I am COMPLETELY clueless. And there is a whole WALL full of choices. Oh, and every mom I know recommends a different brand and says it's "the best".

Pack-n-plays and bouncy seats and monitors... oh my.

I think we've decided on a crib and dresser set. We found one that we like and that feels and looks really durable and got really great ratings online so at least it's one decision made. We've also picked out bedding we like for a boy and a girl. Of course we haven't been able to see those in person so we'll have to order online and hope for the best. But all the other stuff is still up in the air.

The same goes for picking a daycare. Now that is an overwhelming decision! How do you pick a place to care for your child based on a quick visit and an interview? We actually haven't even started the process yet but know we need to get going. I've been taking recommendations from friends and looking around at possible places but we really need to just schedule a day to go and visit daycare centers. There is so much to do and so many decisions to make.

Everything else is going well though. I'm feeling good besides still being hungry and tired all the time. I keep waiting for my energy to come back like they say it does in the second trimester but so far no luck. I feel like my belly has started to pop out a little but I really just look chubby rather than pregnant. I did have to go out and buy a new bra today because my old ones just can't keep up. I'm still in most of my regular clothes but have to wear my Bella Band with some of my pants because they don't button anymore. I'm really looking forward to warmer weather so I can start wearing some of my dresses again.

The picture below is from Saturday at 14 weeks. I forgot to hold a sign this time.

It's a baby

It's not a squirrel anymore! There is an actual baby growing inside of me!!



Isn't it cute?! Look at it's huge brain! It's so sci-fi.

I guess you can tell my appointment today went well. I was very happy and very surprised that the ultrasound tech spent lots of time looking at the baby. I figured since I was there to see if I had cysts on my ovaries that we'd spend the majority of time looking at my ovaries. But no, the tech spent lots of time looking at the baby and taking pictures for me.

The baby was moving all over the place and arching it's back. It even turned towards the camera once and, I swear, moved it's arm up and down like it was waving at us. It was the cutest thing ever. I also got to see and hear the heartbeat again. Today it was beating at 150 beats per minute.

We did look at my ovaries and I am cyst free. They figure the pains I was feeling are just from my uterus stretching and growing. That was a relief. I was worried about having cysts and having one burst. It's extremely painful and I wanted to be prepared for that just in case.

But, it appears, all is well in my uterus. I will officially start my second trimester tomorrow and am feeling a million times more hopeful that this will work out for us. I even finally told my boss today. It was so scary to actually say it out loud to someone not related to me or that doesn't really know my history. It just makes it so much more real. I will announce it to my troops tomorrow and then everyone at work will know. Scary but exciting at the same time.

As it stands, my next appointment isn't until February 17th so it'll be a long wait for that one. I still don't think I'm showing yet but I am definitely more pudgy around the middle than I was before. I really just look like I'm getting chubby again. I am desperately trying to get my diet and exercise back on track but am easily swayed by sweets and fast food. I did manage to walk 2 miles today after work and had grilled chicken and zucchini for dinner... followed by a fudge brownie for desert. But I'm trying. I have to resist the urge to stop at Krystal's on my way home from work everyday. Those little burgers are delicious. Mmmmm... Okay, need to stop thinking about them before its too late.

So I guess this is really happening. Me and Joe are actually having a baby. Can you believe it? It is so crazy. So many years and tears to get here and it's really, really happening. Wow. I honestly never thought I'd see the day. Amazing.

Still ticking

I had a great doctor appointment yesterday. There is still a baby in there and it's heart is still beating and I am less than a week away from the end of my first trimester! It was a very exciting milestone for me.

The doctor originally tried to find the baby's heartbeat with the Doppler but after lots of searching, and what felt like an eternity, she gave up and offered to do an ultrasound. It was really good that she offered the ultrasound because if she hadn't I might have had to throw a little tantrum right there in the office. I would seriously be a basket case right now if I hadn't gotten reassurance that everything was still going well in there.

The little ultrasound machine she has in her office is very old and outdated but we were still able to see the baby and hear the heartbeat. I was really surprised at how much the baby has grown since our last appointment only two weeks ago. And it actually looks like a baby instead of just a little blob. It's amazing to think that there is a little human growing inside of me right now.

I also got permission from the doctor to eat a sub, dye my hair, and fly to DC in April. Yes, I will be going to Washington DC in April for a work trip. I feel so grown up! I'm actually really excited because I've never been to DC before. Joe is going to fly up at the end of the conference and spend the rest of the weekend with me. I guess that'll be our babymoon.

Another big milestone that I have coming up is telling everyone at work. I am amazed that I've managed to keep my mouth shut up to this point. There were several times that I almost slipped up and said something. It'll be nice to finally have an explanation for the change in diet, lack of exercise, the tiredness and overall bitchiness.

My next appointment is February 17th, which feels like a million years from now. But, I do have to go for an ultrasound on Monday to check for cysts on my ovaries. I've been having some sharp stabbing pains that feel the same as when I have cysts so the doctor wants to check that out. I'm hoping they'll look at the baby while they're in there but I doubt it. It would be nice though because the machines at the ultrasound place give such nicer pictures. So keep an eye out for possible new pictures on Monday.

Hard to believe

I've been blogging for almost 3 years now! Can you believe it? I most certainly can not. I started the blog way back on May 30, 2007 as a way to share the joys and progress of my first pregnancy. We all know how well that worked out. Over the years and through all the ups and downs, I've always turned to blogging as a way to vent my frustrations and share all the good things and bad things happening in my life. Which is why now, three years and two pregnancies later, I can't figure out how I've let myself slack off so much. I finally have some good news to share with everyone yet I can't find the time or energy to get online and share it. But I always seemed to have the time to get on and blog about the bad. Strange right?

It reminds me of a saying from Pretty Woman that said something about the bad stuff always being easier to believe. I think that might be my problem. The bad stuff that's happened to me has always been so much easier to accept. I mean, of course I don't understand why all that bad stuff happened to me but at least it was real and I could accept it as a part of my life. All this good that is happening to me now, not so easy to believe or accept. Even though I'm getting reassurance from the doctor and books and with every day that this baby is still with me, I just can't seem to believe that this is real. Even talking about it, it doesn't seem like I'm talking about myself. It's like I'm telling someone else's story.

Joe and I keep wondering when it'll hit us that we are actually having a baby. I think maybe once I start showing or when we find out the gender or when I feel the baby move for the first time. But it's even hard for me to imagine those things. It's like I have some sort of mental block where I can't imagine myself with a big belly or wearing maternity clothes or going to a shower that's being thrown in my honor. I just can't "see" those pictures in my head yet. We've started looking at cribs and bedding and strollers but even that seems so far away that I can't fully wrap my mind around it.

But, the fact is, I've almost made it through my first trimester. Saturday I will be 13 weeks and, from what I've read, that's the end marker of the first trimester and the beginning of the second. I'm still constantly exhausted and hungry all the time and have been very moody but, other than that, I feel pretty good. That might have something to do with my not believing this is happening too. I sometimes forget that I'm pregnant at all. I'm up about three pounds from my starting point which really isn't bad considering how crappy I've been eating. I want carbs and junk food ALL THE TIME. I told Joe that there is no doubt this is his baby I'm carrying around. I haven't had one specific craving but will crave 100 different things in a 24 hour period. It changes constantly and I'm trying really hard not to give in to everything. I am getting my fruit and milk and whole grains and trying to choke down some vegetables whenever I can.

I don't know when I'll fully believe this is real but I will try harder to share the good things that are happening in my life instead of only complaining about the bad stuff. I've posted a couple of belly pictures from 10 and 12 weeks. I'm looking way rough in the 10 week picture but tried to make up for it in the 12 week picture. I was dressed up for my company party last night so I figured it be a good time for a picture. I'll keep you posted on my progress after my appointment on Wednesday.