Now that Thanksgiving is over and we're inching ever so closely to Christmas (26 days!) I can break down and admit the holiday season is in full swing. For me, this year, that means an office Christmas party. From what I've heard, this one is pretty nice. I've never had a "nice" office party. I've had some get togethers but they're usually during office hours and everyone is still expected to answer the phones and help customers when they come in so this will be a really different experience for me.
My Christmas party is going to be at the Radisson Resort in Cape Canaveral. It is a nice place and my co-workers have said that the company goes all out with food and drinks and stuff. They supposedly give out really nice door prizes too. I've heard a lot of electronic stuff is given away. That got Joe in the party mood right away! The part I'm most excited about though, is getting dressed up and going somewhere. I haven't been to a "fancy" event since my girlfriend got married in April of 2006!
But the getting dressed up part is now presenting me with a problem. I have a really hot pair of heels that I've only worn once and I've been dying to wear ever since. They are glittery gold peep toe stilettos and they are so fun and sparkly and pretty. Since I now have an event to wear them to, and since they are so fabulous, I am planning my whole outfit around them. That was a really great idea a month ago when I thought I had plenty of time to find just the right dress to go with them. Well, the party is next Friday and I still haven't found anything suitable.
Isn't it always true that when you don't need a really cute party dress they are everywhere but when you need one suddenly everything is black or grey or plain old ugly? I want something in a festive color but not something that screams Christmas. A jewel tone would be great. I also want something that is "season appropriate" without being too warm. It is still 80 degrees here after all. I'm looking for something sexy but not revealing. Something sophisticated that says, "I may be the work control clerk by day but I can glam it up when it's time to party." A bonus would be if I could find a dress just dressy enough for the party but not so dressy that I never get to wear it again.
I have searched high and low for the perfect dress, mostly online but also in some stores. Everything is either too dressy or not dressy enough, too sexy or not sexy at all, or too junior-ish and not enough 28-year-old hottie-ish. I thought I'd hit the mother load when my new December InStyle arrived. There, just a couple pages in, I saw the dress of my dreams. It is a satin or silk, short sleeved wrap dress that comes in either royal blue or emerald green. My eyes just about popped out of my head. I knew that was the dress for my gold shoes. It was an ad for Ann Taylor LOFT but, unfortunately, the dress is not available for sale yet! What the hell?! Why put an ad out if you're not going to let people buy the damn dress in the ad? I'm really hoping that they start selling it December 1st, and that I love it, and that it isn't a million dollars. I guess I shouldn't be putting all my eggs in that basket but I can't help it. I can see myself in the outfit already.
So, wish me luck that (a) the dress will go on sale before my party next week (b) it will fit me and look awesome and (c) I will wow the crowd at my Christmas party. Bonus if I (d) win an I-pod! Happy Holiday parties to all of you!!
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Holiday come and gone
Well we made it back from Alabama in one piece. It was quite a journey and we're glad to be home. It was great seeing Joe's family and it was nice to relax for 3 days. We ate entirely too much though so I'm going to have to pick up the pace at Jazzercise this week.
The drive to Alabama was interesting and exhausting. We wanted to get on the road as soon as we could on Wednesday so that we would have all day on Thursday to relax and hang out with the family. We both had to work that day so we wanted to leave as soon as we got home. We packed up the dogs and the car and ended up getting on the road at 5:00. After being on the road for about 6 hours we started questioning why Joe's family had to move to the absolute farthest and hardest to get to point in Alabama. The drive consists of only a few highways (which are mostly full of construction) and the rest of the drive is country roads. In some parts I felt like we were driving through a scene from Texas Chainsaw Massacre. There were no street lights and nothing but road and trees for as far as the eye could see. It was tough. We tried to stop every 3 hours or so to get out and walk the dogs and switch drivers. We finally pulled into Joe's mom's house at 5:30am. She was kind enough to make us some breakfast and then we went straight to bed.
After our nice nap we got up and got ready for the family to arrive. Seeing Sarah and Mary was great. They are so adorable and Sarah is so smart. She'll talk your ear off and it's like talking to a grown up in a 4 year old's body. So we hung out all day and watched football and waited for our feast to be ready. And what a feast it was! We had so much good food and we all stuffed ourselves silly. It was definitely a Miller Thanksgiving! After lunch was more napping and more football and then more food. We pretty much continued that routine for the rest of the weekend. It was very cold there (in the 30's and 40's) so we stayed inside as much as possible. We did take the dogs out to play fetch a couple of times but my Florida blood couldn't take the cold for too long.
We got on the road yesterday morning at 5am (Alabama time). We took a different route home and it was a much nicer trip. I don't know if it was because we were well rested or that we were driving during the day and could see stuff but we had a much more enjoyable ride on the way back. It ended up taking us a lot longer because we got stuck behind a terrible accident just west of Tallahassee. We ended up here just before 9pm (Florida time).
I do have to brag on my dogs for a minute. They were so wonderful the whole way up and back. We set them up with a comforter on the back seat and they just slept the whole way. When we'd stop to let them out they were very good about doing their business in a timely fashion and were very well behaved around all the other dogs that were mulling about the rest areas. I think I need to write a letter to whoever it is that manages rest areas. I was really shocked at the number of people traveling with their dogs. It seemed like every place we stopped we saw at least 5 or more dogs. I think that rest areas should have a little fenced-in doggy area where you can let your dog of her leash to run around. It would've been nice to be able to throw a ball to the girls or even just to chase them around. I think that would've made their trip even better. I don't know how to make it happen but I think it would be great.
It's definitely good to be home today. We all slept great in our own bed and have spent the majority of the day relaxing and getting everything back to normal. We did pull out the Christmas decorations and got some of that started. Unfortunately several strands of lights have decided this is the year they are going to crap out so we'll have to run out for more of those. I can't believe that Thanksgiving is over and Christmas is right around the corner! This year has flown by!
I hope you all had a very nice holiday surrounded by family and friends. I am definitely thankful this year for my wonderful family. Joe and I are very lucky to have great people on both sides of our family. It makes every holiday, no matter where it's spent, very special.
The drive to Alabama was interesting and exhausting. We wanted to get on the road as soon as we could on Wednesday so that we would have all day on Thursday to relax and hang out with the family. We both had to work that day so we wanted to leave as soon as we got home. We packed up the dogs and the car and ended up getting on the road at 5:00. After being on the road for about 6 hours we started questioning why Joe's family had to move to the absolute farthest and hardest to get to point in Alabama. The drive consists of only a few highways (which are mostly full of construction) and the rest of the drive is country roads. In some parts I felt like we were driving through a scene from Texas Chainsaw Massacre. There were no street lights and nothing but road and trees for as far as the eye could see. It was tough. We tried to stop every 3 hours or so to get out and walk the dogs and switch drivers. We finally pulled into Joe's mom's house at 5:30am. She was kind enough to make us some breakfast and then we went straight to bed.
After our nice nap we got up and got ready for the family to arrive. Seeing Sarah and Mary was great. They are so adorable and Sarah is so smart. She'll talk your ear off and it's like talking to a grown up in a 4 year old's body. So we hung out all day and watched football and waited for our feast to be ready. And what a feast it was! We had so much good food and we all stuffed ourselves silly. It was definitely a Miller Thanksgiving! After lunch was more napping and more football and then more food. We pretty much continued that routine for the rest of the weekend. It was very cold there (in the 30's and 40's) so we stayed inside as much as possible. We did take the dogs out to play fetch a couple of times but my Florida blood couldn't take the cold for too long.
We got on the road yesterday morning at 5am (Alabama time). We took a different route home and it was a much nicer trip. I don't know if it was because we were well rested or that we were driving during the day and could see stuff but we had a much more enjoyable ride on the way back. It ended up taking us a lot longer because we got stuck behind a terrible accident just west of Tallahassee. We ended up here just before 9pm (Florida time).
I do have to brag on my dogs for a minute. They were so wonderful the whole way up and back. We set them up with a comforter on the back seat and they just slept the whole way. When we'd stop to let them out they were very good about doing their business in a timely fashion and were very well behaved around all the other dogs that were mulling about the rest areas. I think I need to write a letter to whoever it is that manages rest areas. I was really shocked at the number of people traveling with their dogs. It seemed like every place we stopped we saw at least 5 or more dogs. I think that rest areas should have a little fenced-in doggy area where you can let your dog of her leash to run around. It would've been nice to be able to throw a ball to the girls or even just to chase them around. I think that would've made their trip even better. I don't know how to make it happen but I think it would be great.
It's definitely good to be home today. We all slept great in our own bed and have spent the majority of the day relaxing and getting everything back to normal. We did pull out the Christmas decorations and got some of that started. Unfortunately several strands of lights have decided this is the year they are going to crap out so we'll have to run out for more of those. I can't believe that Thanksgiving is over and Christmas is right around the corner! This year has flown by!
I hope you all had a very nice holiday surrounded by family and friends. I am definitely thankful this year for my wonderful family. Joe and I are very lucky to have great people on both sides of our family. It makes every holiday, no matter where it's spent, very special.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Wine- Oh!
So, I've had a couple of glasses of wine. I have no idea where this post is going but it's been a week so I figured I have to write something. I hope everyone is doing well. We need to give a big shout-out to the newest member of our family. Little Kevin Jr. made his glorious arrival on Thursday. Congratulations to the Mesnick's.
Thanksgiving is coming up and Joe and I have a big voyage in our future. We're heading up to Alabama to see his family. It's a 13 hour drive and Joe and I don't do long car trips well so it should be interesting. I can't stand the way he drives and he can't stand the way I drive so I'm sure it'll be a looooong 13 hours. But, I'm really excited to see his mom and to see my nieces. I have never met my niece, Mary and I haven't seen Sarah for like 8 months so I'm very excited to see them.
I had a very nice weekend. Friday night Joe and I went out to shop for a birthday present for Pierce. We had dinner at the Pizza Gallery and then went shopping. Saturday we had Pierce's big birthday extravaganza. It was very nice. I can't believe that little boy is already one. It's strange how it seems like he was just born yesterday but I already can't remember life before him. He's amazing and funny and sweet and wonderful and I love him to death. He was surrounded by about 65 of his closest friends and family on his birthday and was showered with tons of presents. It was great to see all the people that love him so much. Today I slept late and lounged around the house. I had Lindsey's bridesmaids over to discuss her shower plans. It's going to be gorgeous- if I do say so myself. Then me and mom ran back out to shop. I got a new coat to take with me to Alabama so I don't freeze my ass off. When we got home Joe had a delicious dinner of baked ziti and garlic bread and salad prepared. Mom and Lindsey and Peyton came over and we had a great time. It's amazing how playing peek-a-boo with a laughing baby can be more fun then any party you've ever been to. We all had a very nice time.
Now, I'm just sitting around waiting for my shows to come on. I've had 3 glasses of wine so I'm feeling pretty good. I haven't had wine for so long so it's going straight to my head! I guess that's really all I have to say. I hope all of you have a wonderful holiday surrounded by the people that you love the most. I hope to have a fresh new blog detailing all my adventures by the time I get back. I love you all and wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving!!
Thanksgiving is coming up and Joe and I have a big voyage in our future. We're heading up to Alabama to see his family. It's a 13 hour drive and Joe and I don't do long car trips well so it should be interesting. I can't stand the way he drives and he can't stand the way I drive so I'm sure it'll be a looooong 13 hours. But, I'm really excited to see his mom and to see my nieces. I have never met my niece, Mary and I haven't seen Sarah for like 8 months so I'm very excited to see them.
I had a very nice weekend. Friday night Joe and I went out to shop for a birthday present for Pierce. We had dinner at the Pizza Gallery and then went shopping. Saturday we had Pierce's big birthday extravaganza. It was very nice. I can't believe that little boy is already one. It's strange how it seems like he was just born yesterday but I already can't remember life before him. He's amazing and funny and sweet and wonderful and I love him to death. He was surrounded by about 65 of his closest friends and family on his birthday and was showered with tons of presents. It was great to see all the people that love him so much. Today I slept late and lounged around the house. I had Lindsey's bridesmaids over to discuss her shower plans. It's going to be gorgeous- if I do say so myself. Then me and mom ran back out to shop. I got a new coat to take with me to Alabama so I don't freeze my ass off. When we got home Joe had a delicious dinner of baked ziti and garlic bread and salad prepared. Mom and Lindsey and Peyton came over and we had a great time. It's amazing how playing peek-a-boo with a laughing baby can be more fun then any party you've ever been to. We all had a very nice time.
Now, I'm just sitting around waiting for my shows to come on. I've had 3 glasses of wine so I'm feeling pretty good. I haven't had wine for so long so it's going straight to my head! I guess that's really all I have to say. I hope all of you have a wonderful holiday surrounded by the people that you love the most. I hope to have a fresh new blog detailing all my adventures by the time I get back. I love you all and wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving!!
Sunday, November 11, 2007
If I knew then...
I heard a song on the radio the other day that got me thinking. It is about writing a letter to yourself in the past and giving your younger self some pointers for the future. I thought it was a cute idea and started thinking of things that I would say to my former self.
I know you're supposed to live your life with no regrets but being young and stupid usually leads to dumb decisions that you do eventually regret. I've had lots of those. I also think that the decisions you make affect future decisions so it's hard to say that I wouldn't have done something in my past because that decision may have led me to where I am today. But, without digging too deep into that philosophical can of worms I want to compose my letter to 14 year old Tricia. I think that's when life got a little complicated for me and I know that I could've used some words of advice to keep me on the straight and narrow.
Dear self,
I know that it is probably hard for you to imagine but I am writing this letter to you as a 28 year old married woman. I wanted to send these words of advice and guidance to you so that, hopefully, you can steer clear of some of the messes that I got into the first time around.
Life is about to get complicated. You're 14 and confused about a lot of things. You're a freshman in high school and made it on to the cheerleading squad for the first time. Boys are starting to notice you more and your increasing popularity is getting stressful. There are some girls in your class that you're making friends with. Stick with them, they're going to be around for a long time.
Be careful with the boys. I know it's nice having the extra attention but don't let them take advantage of you. You're a smart, funny, and pretty girl and any guy worth a damn will wait for you to be ready. If he won't, he wasn't worth it. Please know that you don't have to get physical with a guy for him to like you. He'll probably like you more, and you'll probably like yourself more if you don't. Don't put up with any crap from the guys either. I know it'll feel like you're in love, and you may be, but someone who cheats on you and puts you down doesn't love you. No matter what he says. And you don't need to sneak out of the house to see him even if he insists he can't possibly go one night without seeing you. Don't ditch your girlfriends for a guy either. I know it's tempting and you want to spend every minute with him but you need your friends. They need you too.
Study hard. School may come easy for you now but it won't always. Keep your grades up and dual enroll as much as possible. It'll be easier later. And even though you hate Ms. Rotta more than words, you need to pay attention in economics class. Those fundamentals will help you in college. You may want to visit the guidance counselors some more. Pick their brains for information on how to apply for scholarships. It'll save you from a huge student loan payment later. Also discuss with them options for majors and minors. Really explore what's out there and really think about what you want to do in the future.
Try to stay active. You're going to want to quit cheerleading in your junior year. It'll be because the girl your boyfriend cheated on you with is already on the squad. I know you'll hate her guts but you'll miss out on a lot of fun by quitting the squad. You'll also put on about 15 pounds. Which, unfortunately, turns into a lot more later on. You're not always going to be able to eat pierogies and mac-n-cheese and pizza rolls and cheese puffs (in one afternoon) and not gain weight. Trust me.
I know that it's nice having money to spend but don't work so hard. You'll have plenty of time for a job when you're out of school. Right now you should be enjoying football games and hanging out after school with your friends. Those are things that you'll never get back and that you probably won't do again. Try just a part-time job or maybe just a summer job. Try to save your money too. And don't get credit cards! They are evil and will cause you a lot of agony and struggle later in life. Be happy with what you can afford and save for the things you really want.
Try not to be such a bitch to your family. I know they can be really annoying but you're stuck with them forever and the things you say to them now they'll remember. Try not to let your sisters get you so mad. They know your buttons and know how to push them and they will continue to push them into your adult life so get used to it and get over it. It'll be a lot easier. It's probably best if you don't try to choke them either. I know it's really hard to understand your dad right now. He doesn't always say the right things when you need to hear them but he does love you and will do anything for you. There are certain guys he'd prefer you not date and, while you think he's just being an asshole, it turns out he's right in the end.
There is one guy that you'll meet that you may want to pay extra attention to. He's in your 10th grade Geometry class with you. He's really funny and when he calls you a Jewish hamster, it's just because he likes you. He'll be a great friend and even more someday.
I guess the most important thing that I want to pass on is to not let anyone tell you that you're not special or that you can't do something. It's very hard to recover from letting someone break down your self-esteem. Keep your head up and remember that you are pretty and smart and funny and the people that are worth a damn know that and won't make you feel any other way. So good luck with that. Hopefully when these things come around again you'll be a little more prepared for them.
Love, future you
P.S. When you're ready to have children, see your doctor right away. Waiting isn't worth it.
I know you're supposed to live your life with no regrets but being young and stupid usually leads to dumb decisions that you do eventually regret. I've had lots of those. I also think that the decisions you make affect future decisions so it's hard to say that I wouldn't have done something in my past because that decision may have led me to where I am today. But, without digging too deep into that philosophical can of worms I want to compose my letter to 14 year old Tricia. I think that's when life got a little complicated for me and I know that I could've used some words of advice to keep me on the straight and narrow.
Dear self,
I know that it is probably hard for you to imagine but I am writing this letter to you as a 28 year old married woman. I wanted to send these words of advice and guidance to you so that, hopefully, you can steer clear of some of the messes that I got into the first time around.
Life is about to get complicated. You're 14 and confused about a lot of things. You're a freshman in high school and made it on to the cheerleading squad for the first time. Boys are starting to notice you more and your increasing popularity is getting stressful. There are some girls in your class that you're making friends with. Stick with them, they're going to be around for a long time.
Be careful with the boys. I know it's nice having the extra attention but don't let them take advantage of you. You're a smart, funny, and pretty girl and any guy worth a damn will wait for you to be ready. If he won't, he wasn't worth it. Please know that you don't have to get physical with a guy for him to like you. He'll probably like you more, and you'll probably like yourself more if you don't. Don't put up with any crap from the guys either. I know it'll feel like you're in love, and you may be, but someone who cheats on you and puts you down doesn't love you. No matter what he says. And you don't need to sneak out of the house to see him even if he insists he can't possibly go one night without seeing you. Don't ditch your girlfriends for a guy either. I know it's tempting and you want to spend every minute with him but you need your friends. They need you too.
Study hard. School may come easy for you now but it won't always. Keep your grades up and dual enroll as much as possible. It'll be easier later. And even though you hate Ms. Rotta more than words, you need to pay attention in economics class. Those fundamentals will help you in college. You may want to visit the guidance counselors some more. Pick their brains for information on how to apply for scholarships. It'll save you from a huge student loan payment later. Also discuss with them options for majors and minors. Really explore what's out there and really think about what you want to do in the future.
Try to stay active. You're going to want to quit cheerleading in your junior year. It'll be because the girl your boyfriend cheated on you with is already on the squad. I know you'll hate her guts but you'll miss out on a lot of fun by quitting the squad. You'll also put on about 15 pounds. Which, unfortunately, turns into a lot more later on. You're not always going to be able to eat pierogies and mac-n-cheese and pizza rolls and cheese puffs (in one afternoon) and not gain weight. Trust me.
I know that it's nice having money to spend but don't work so hard. You'll have plenty of time for a job when you're out of school. Right now you should be enjoying football games and hanging out after school with your friends. Those are things that you'll never get back and that you probably won't do again. Try just a part-time job or maybe just a summer job. Try to save your money too. And don't get credit cards! They are evil and will cause you a lot of agony and struggle later in life. Be happy with what you can afford and save for the things you really want.
Try not to be such a bitch to your family. I know they can be really annoying but you're stuck with them forever and the things you say to them now they'll remember. Try not to let your sisters get you so mad. They know your buttons and know how to push them and they will continue to push them into your adult life so get used to it and get over it. It'll be a lot easier. It's probably best if you don't try to choke them either. I know it's really hard to understand your dad right now. He doesn't always say the right things when you need to hear them but he does love you and will do anything for you. There are certain guys he'd prefer you not date and, while you think he's just being an asshole, it turns out he's right in the end.
There is one guy that you'll meet that you may want to pay extra attention to. He's in your 10th grade Geometry class with you. He's really funny and when he calls you a Jewish hamster, it's just because he likes you. He'll be a great friend and even more someday.
I guess the most important thing that I want to pass on is to not let anyone tell you that you're not special or that you can't do something. It's very hard to recover from letting someone break down your self-esteem. Keep your head up and remember that you are pretty and smart and funny and the people that are worth a damn know that and won't make you feel any other way. So good luck with that. Hopefully when these things come around again you'll be a little more prepared for them.
Love, future you
P.S. When you're ready to have children, see your doctor right away. Waiting isn't worth it.
Monday, November 5, 2007
Cheater Cheater Pumpkin Eater
I know I've really been slacking on the blogs lately. I'm very sorry for that. I feel like my creative juices are being stretched really thin. Between trying to help Lindsey plan for her wedding and trying to plan her shower and help Becky think of ideas for Pierce's first birthday and try to think of ways to redecorate my house and how to lose more weight and pay off more bills and get pregnant.... It's just all too much for my poor brain. So, tonight I'm cheating. I'm giving you a new blog but it is not original material. I hope you find it funny just the same.
I am a self-proclaimed magazine addict. I can't get enough of the damn things. My new job is only helping to feed the addiction. There is a box in the "ladies lounge" where people can bring their old magazines for other people to read. That box is like a pot of gold for me. I check it everyday to see if any new magazines have been tossed in. I'll read just about anything too. I've found myself reading Better Homes and Garden magazines from 2000! Which, by the way, totally intrigues me to read a magazine that was written before September 11, 2001. It's hard to remember the world before terrorism was in our faces 24/7. We were so naive back then. Anyway, I'm getting off track. So, today I picked up Women's Health. It's a pretty good magazine, there were a few good articles in it. But, I came across a feature called "The Girl List" and it was so funny I was laughing my ass off (by myself) in my office break room. It also has some really good points. I want to share it with you and hope that you enjoy it as much as me.
The name of the article is "Trite and True, 21 cliches that say what they mean and mean what they say" by Lisa Jones. (All of the comments are the author's. They were so good, I didn't feel the need to embellish.)
1. Just be yourself
2. If "yourself" is not a morning person, wake up and (smell) drink the coffee. Everything else can f-ing wait.
3. This too shall pass. Hangovers, heartache, blackheads, and bad hair cuts- time heals all. Except for a UTI. That misery-fest demands antibiotics, pronto.
4. When in doubt, throw it out. Apply this first rule of fridge cleanup to anything you're not sure you need anymore- that little black dress that fits a much littler you, crushed tampons in purse pockets, the hot-but-boring boyfriend.
5. Life's a bitch. But aren't we all sometimes?
6. Maybe she got promoted before you or looks better in skinny jeans. But maybe you have more friends and bigger boobs. So why compare? Another woman's success is not a measure of your failure.
7. Separate the men from the boys. Hint: The mean are the ones who make you orgasm and pancakes.
8. Open your heart. The scary stuff that makes you vulnerable is the good stuff.
9. If the shoe fits (wear) buy it. When it comes to a sale in the foot ware department, she who hesitates is lost.
10. Make out like a bandit. Life is too short to go unsexed.
11. You'll know it (the right job, man for you) when you see it... and who says you have to explain it to others who don't?
12. A leopard can't change its spots. Nor can an ex-love unbreak your heart when you give him a second chance. Or a third. Or a fourth.
13. Absence makes the heart grown fonder- and the libido grow stronger.
14. Love what you do and do (what) who you love. Even if he never takes out the recycling.
15. Show me the money. More often than not, you have to ask for it. Subtlety doesn't pay the rent- or earn your bosses respect.
16. Fake it till you make it. Hey, it worked for George W.
17. Save the drama for your mama. Complaining, whining, making excuses- all unattractive and boring to anyone who's not you. Nobody said it would be easy.
18. Just do it. Those lifetime goals don't just happen. It's all about the baby steps, baby.
19. You are what you eat. Nature's reminder: asparagus pee.
20. Everything in moderation. And when you forget that: Liquor before beer, you're in the clear.
21. Love many, trust few, but always paddle you own canoe. Unless, of course, you're up a creek without a paddle. In which case, you're totally screwed.
Hope you enjoyed. Hopefully I won't have to keep ripping off other people for material. Keep checking back. The creativity could strike at any moment. I could keep blogging about Jazzercise. One class is enough material for several blogs. Maybe I should change the blog name to "Jazzafreakinglutely". What do you think? It's kinda catchy. LOL
I am a self-proclaimed magazine addict. I can't get enough of the damn things. My new job is only helping to feed the addiction. There is a box in the "ladies lounge" where people can bring their old magazines for other people to read. That box is like a pot of gold for me. I check it everyday to see if any new magazines have been tossed in. I'll read just about anything too. I've found myself reading Better Homes and Garden magazines from 2000! Which, by the way, totally intrigues me to read a magazine that was written before September 11, 2001. It's hard to remember the world before terrorism was in our faces 24/7. We were so naive back then. Anyway, I'm getting off track. So, today I picked up Women's Health. It's a pretty good magazine, there were a few good articles in it. But, I came across a feature called "The Girl List" and it was so funny I was laughing my ass off (by myself) in my office break room. It also has some really good points. I want to share it with you and hope that you enjoy it as much as me.
The name of the article is "Trite and True, 21 cliches that say what they mean and mean what they say" by Lisa Jones. (All of the comments are the author's. They were so good, I didn't feel the need to embellish.)
1. Just be yourself
2. If "yourself" is not a morning person, wake up and (smell) drink the coffee. Everything else can f-ing wait.
3. This too shall pass. Hangovers, heartache, blackheads, and bad hair cuts- time heals all. Except for a UTI. That misery-fest demands antibiotics, pronto.
4. When in doubt, throw it out. Apply this first rule of fridge cleanup to anything you're not sure you need anymore- that little black dress that fits a much littler you, crushed tampons in purse pockets, the hot-but-boring boyfriend.
5. Life's a bitch. But aren't we all sometimes?
6. Maybe she got promoted before you or looks better in skinny jeans. But maybe you have more friends and bigger boobs. So why compare? Another woman's success is not a measure of your failure.
7. Separate the men from the boys. Hint: The mean are the ones who make you orgasm and pancakes.
8. Open your heart. The scary stuff that makes you vulnerable is the good stuff.
9. If the shoe fits (wear) buy it. When it comes to a sale in the foot ware department, she who hesitates is lost.
10. Make out like a bandit. Life is too short to go unsexed.
11. You'll know it (the right job, man for you) when you see it... and who says you have to explain it to others who don't?
12. A leopard can't change its spots. Nor can an ex-love unbreak your heart when you give him a second chance. Or a third. Or a fourth.
13. Absence makes the heart grown fonder- and the libido grow stronger.
14. Love what you do and do (what) who you love. Even if he never takes out the recycling.
15. Show me the money. More often than not, you have to ask for it. Subtlety doesn't pay the rent- or earn your bosses respect.
16. Fake it till you make it. Hey, it worked for George W.
17. Save the drama for your mama. Complaining, whining, making excuses- all unattractive and boring to anyone who's not you. Nobody said it would be easy.
18. Just do it. Those lifetime goals don't just happen. It's all about the baby steps, baby.
19. You are what you eat. Nature's reminder: asparagus pee.
20. Everything in moderation. And when you forget that: Liquor before beer, you're in the clear.
21. Love many, trust few, but always paddle you own canoe. Unless, of course, you're up a creek without a paddle. In which case, you're totally screwed.
Hope you enjoyed. Hopefully I won't have to keep ripping off other people for material. Keep checking back. The creativity could strike at any moment. I could keep blogging about Jazzercise. One class is enough material for several blogs. Maybe I should change the blog name to "Jazzafreakinglutely". What do you think? It's kinda catchy. LOL
Friday, November 2, 2007
The Finer Things
I guess I should start this post by telling you that if you don't watch "The Office" you may not get what I'm talking about. If you do, feel free to laugh along.
Last night's episode of "The Office" was hilarious. But, there was one part that especially tickled my funny bone. Pam, Toby and Oscar started a very exclusive club called "The Finer Things" club. It was just the three of them and they met in the office break room. At their meetings they discussed different books and ate foods that corresponded to what they were reading. They even wore partial costumes and drank tea from fine china. The whole premise was silly but add in the fact that they were in an office break room where co-workers were walking in to make microwave popcorn and to beat up the vending machine and it just made it funnier.
I started thinking of the type of stuff that I would do in a club of that kind. After a little bit of thought I realized my club would probably be called "The regular old crap" club. In my club we'd sit around and eat Chinese food and drink inexpensive, maybe from a box, red wine while flipping through the latest gossip magazines dissecting the many moods of Britney Spears. We could paint our toenails and have a mascara sampling party. Intellectual conversation would not be expected. Though, you may have to pass a short test on celeb gossip and/or pop culture to gain entry. After all, we do have some standards around here.
As much as Oprah tries to shove her book club down my throat, I'm just not that into reading books. Don't throw stones! It's not like I'm illiterate, I read the news and the paper and tons of magazines. How is that any different from a book? It's still reading, right? Books take so much time and energy. You have to be able to carve out all this quiet time to concentrate. I like to read a magazine while watching tv, talking to Joe, letting the dogs out, and cooking dinner. If I tried to read a book that way I'd be lost. I used to read books and there are some that I would still consider reading but it's just not that important to me. Don't tell Oprah.
I hope those things don't make me a bad person. I can't help it if I'd rather browse ten magazines for the top rated mascara or the "it" bag for fall. I think I'm smart even if I didn't read the freaking "Davinci Code". I'm not going to let the "book clubbers" or "The Finer Things" clubs make me feel bad about my choices. Besides, just because Oprah says you have to do it doesn't mean you REALLY have to do it. Even though everything she says people jump to buy/read/give/wear/do.
So I guess the moral of my post is that if you can't join 'em then beat 'em with your own better, less fancy but way more fun club! Come with me to the dark side... we have wine!
Last night's episode of "The Office" was hilarious. But, there was one part that especially tickled my funny bone. Pam, Toby and Oscar started a very exclusive club called "The Finer Things" club. It was just the three of them and they met in the office break room. At their meetings they discussed different books and ate foods that corresponded to what they were reading. They even wore partial costumes and drank tea from fine china. The whole premise was silly but add in the fact that they were in an office break room where co-workers were walking in to make microwave popcorn and to beat up the vending machine and it just made it funnier.
I started thinking of the type of stuff that I would do in a club of that kind. After a little bit of thought I realized my club would probably be called "The regular old crap" club. In my club we'd sit around and eat Chinese food and drink inexpensive, maybe from a box, red wine while flipping through the latest gossip magazines dissecting the many moods of Britney Spears. We could paint our toenails and have a mascara sampling party. Intellectual conversation would not be expected. Though, you may have to pass a short test on celeb gossip and/or pop culture to gain entry. After all, we do have some standards around here.
As much as Oprah tries to shove her book club down my throat, I'm just not that into reading books. Don't throw stones! It's not like I'm illiterate, I read the news and the paper and tons of magazines. How is that any different from a book? It's still reading, right? Books take so much time and energy. You have to be able to carve out all this quiet time to concentrate. I like to read a magazine while watching tv, talking to Joe, letting the dogs out, and cooking dinner. If I tried to read a book that way I'd be lost. I used to read books and there are some that I would still consider reading but it's just not that important to me. Don't tell Oprah.
I hope those things don't make me a bad person. I can't help it if I'd rather browse ten magazines for the top rated mascara or the "it" bag for fall. I think I'm smart even if I didn't read the freaking "Davinci Code". I'm not going to let the "book clubbers" or "The Finer Things" clubs make me feel bad about my choices. Besides, just because Oprah says you have to do it doesn't mean you REALLY have to do it. Even though everything she says people jump to buy/read/give/wear/do.
So I guess the moral of my post is that if you can't join 'em then beat 'em with your own better, less fancy but way more fun club! Come with me to the dark side... we have wine!
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