Scaredy cat

I admire brave people. The people who take chances and follow their dreams and do what they love. They don't over worry about the consequences or the "what-if's".

I am not brave. I am pretty much the biggest chicken shit ever. I'm afraid of EVERYTHING. Seriously, from scary movies to ocean creatures to failing at life, I'm afraid. I want to be brave. I get so worked up on what could go wrong that I don't go after the things I want. I think maybe I'm afraid that I won't be good enough and I'll fail and then I'll be embarrassed because I failed. Obviously I've failed in the past and I know that I'm not going to die if I fail but it still sucks.

But I wish I knew how people got over their fears. Where do people get the courage to do motor cross or to surf or start their own business or move across the country? How do people deviate from the norm without feeling like an outcast?

Could I just be a born follower instead of a leader? Is it just in my nature? Like the fabulous Britney Spears says, "There's only two types of people in the world, the ones that entertain and the ones that observe". I guess I'd fall into the "observer" category. But I don't want to sit on my ass admiring all these people doing cool things and say, "I wish I could do that". I want to have the guts to get out there and do it too. I don't want to look back in twenty years and say, "I wish I would've...". But the fear holds me back every time and instead of fighting the fear I just give into it and continue sitting on the sidelines watching other people live their lives.

Blech... I'm like the cowardly lion but there's no wizard here to give me courage. I'd probably be too afraid to follow that group of weirdos through the forest anyway.

P.S. Don't forget the MTV Movie Awards are on tonight!! Kristen Stewart, Rob Pattinson, and Taylor Lautner are going to be presenting a clip of New Moon! Plus, we'll get to see if Kristen and Rob bring dates or come solo. Hence providing us with more opportunities to speculate over their supposed relationship! Squee!!