Bump in the road

I haven't even officially started my first IVF cycle and I've already hit my first bump in the road.  There are several steps that we are required to make before "officially" starting.  I have to have another (my third) Hysterosalpingogram (HSG), which is pretty much an x-ray of my uterus and tubes, we have to attend an IVF seminar to go over all the details, and we have to have a "final" IVF consult with my doctor.  My nurse, who I love dearly, was trying to fast track us so we could start our IVF cycle right away instead of jumping through all the hoops.  Well, new IVF nurse lady put the kibosh on that little plan today.  

I already started my birth control pills and am scheduled for my HSG tomorrow afternoon.  I've already done my IVF blood work (which came back completely normal and healthy, btw) and Joe has a prescription to get his done sometime this week.  We are on the list for the IVF seminar for the second week of January.  So I called the IVF nurse today to schedule my final consult with the doctor and she got all in a tizzy because, "this isn't how we normally do things".  I told her I that I spoke with my regular nurse and she wanted to see if they could get me in sooner.  She said since I'm already on pills and still have to complete all the other requirements, that the timing will be all wrong.  I gave in and agreed to wait for my period to start again and then come in for my final consult.  So now I have to wait a month to really get started.  I'm pretty frustrated but whatever.  Maybe it'll be fun to not think about ovaries and follicles and sperm for a while.  

Joe and I are excited and nervous about what our future holds.  We're trying not to do too many, "what-if's" but in this situation it is hard not to.  In IVF the possibility of multiples is huge so we've been talking about that a lot.  Of course, we will be thrilled to have one baby but the thought of having twins or triplets and never having to go through this again would be pretty amazing too.  Joe thinks that after everything we've been through that he would be satisfied with one child.  I definitely want more than one so, if it is possible, I'd be willing to go through fertility treatments again to have another one.  I've been watching marathons of Jon and Kate plus 8 all day today and after their twins they said they'd try for one more and look what happened to them!  I can't even imagine.  

Of course I'm getting WAY ahead of myself.  Thinking about having multiples before even starting treatment is really crazy.  I'm hopeful that I'll produce lots of follicles and that they'll all fertilize and grow and divide properly.  I'm hopeful that I'll have at least two embryos to transfer back in and hopefully a couple to freeze.  But I've done enough reading and research to know that things don't always work out that way for many couples.  But, without hope I don't think that I could make it through.  So, that's what I'm holding on to.  I'm holding onto the dream of someday being able to announce my pregnancy to all of you, to someday attending a baby shower thrown in my honor, to feeling my unborn baby kick for the first time, to the day I get to hold my baby in my arms.  And that's just the beginning.  

You may have noticed that I've changed the title of my blog.  Since my life is decidedly more complicated since I started this blog, I felt the title, "My Simple Life", no longer fit.  I've decided to change it to the title of one of my favorite albums by Mandy Moore, Wild Hope.  Because if I've got anything right now, it is definitely Wild Hope.  

I hope you all have a Merry Christmas.  I'll keep you posted.