Evan's Arrival

Our little boy is finally here! Joe and I are so overjoyed with this new little man in our lives. We're tired but doing well. Evan has a great appetite is doing really well with breast feeding. We are really loving and enjoying every new face or sound or movement that he makes.

Evan's journey into the world was a long and frustrating one but was worth every second.

Being a momma tired of being pregnant and having a baby showing no signs of budging I agreed to an induction. The whole time I was pregnant I preached that the baby would come when he was ready. I had no idea how stressful that last week of waiting would be and how uncomfortable I would be. So, after talking to my doctor about my chances for delivering vaginally with an induction, I decided to go for it.

Joe and I got up bright and early Monday morning, August 2nd with hopes of meeting our baby by the end of the day. We got checked in to our room and got comfortable. The nurse checked me when we got there and I was still at 3cm dilated. She started me on Pitocin at 7am and we settled in to wait. The first few hours were pretty boring. I was having contractions but they weren't regular or painful. Even though I was hooked to the fetal monitors and had an IV in I was still able to move around the room and go to the bathroom. As the contractions got a little stronger I was able to use the birthing ball to ease the pain. Joe was great and was there to massage my back and just stand and rock with me to help me get through some of the more painful contractions.

As the day continued and the contractions got a little stronger I thought that I had to be making some good progress. I got checked around dinner time and was still at 3cm dilated. Talk about being devastated! My cervix had thinned out a lot more and the baby's head was much lower but no dilation. I decided shortly after that to get some Nubain to take the edge off the contractions. I got the shot and laid down to take a nap. As I was laying on my side in the bed I felt and heard a "pop" and then a huge gush between my legs. It was the strangest thing. I popped up in bed and said, "my water just broke". I wasn't quite sure what to do. I didn't know if I should move or stay still or what so I just laid there in a half stupor. The nurse came in and helped me get situated and told me the contractions would start picking up. Holy hell did they ever!

Within minutes of my water breaking the contractions started to get intense. The nurse told me the anesthesiologist was next door doing an epidural if I wanted to go ahead and get one. I initially refused but within five minutes I had changed my mind. I got these really intense shakes that would not stop and the contractions were so painful. The nurse checked me and I was at 4cm. A little progress to celebrate. As soon as the anesthesiologist was done next door he came over to do my epidural. I was so afraid that I wasn't going to be able to stop shaking long enough for him to get it in. The nurse sent everyone out of the room and I was somehow able to sit still during the procedure.

The epidural was very strange. It was so weird to not be able to feel my legs. I was a little uneasy with it. But, the worst part was that it was too strong and caused my blood pressure to drop really low. I have low blood pressure anyway but I was dipping to like 80/60. I got really nauseous and started throwing up too. The nurse had to call the anesthesiologist back in the room to adjust the epidural. He turned it down which helped regulate my blood pressure and stop the nausea and vomiting but the side effect to that was that I was able to feel more. I was okay with it though. It actually made me feel a little more comfortable to have SOME feeling in my legs and to be able to move them. I was feeling the contractions at the top of my stomach up near my right ribs but it wasn't too intense.

Joe and I settled in to wait some more and I tried to nap again. The nurse came in and checked me around 9:30 and I was STILL at 4cm. I was so frustrated and disappointed and just KNEW I was going to end up with a c-section. The nurse told me that my cervix was still making progress getting thinner and the baby was getting lower but that still wasn't enough to make me feel better. But we tried to relax and stay positive and both settled in to sleep.

Around midnight I woke up with a lot of pressure down there. It felt like I had to pee really badly but I had a catheter in at that point and knew that couldn't be it. I was also feeling the contractions more and was getting pretty uncomfortable. I tried to blow it off and go back to sleep but the pressure got more and more intense. I called the nurse and told her what was going on and she came in to check me. By the time she got in my room I was having to really concentrate and breathe through the contractions. She checked me and I was at 5cm and completely effaced. I asked her if they could turn the epidural back up. She had to call the anesthesiologist in from home which I felt bad about for maybe 2.3 seconds because those contractions were so bad that I didn't care if she had to call him in from his own funeral, I just wanted some relief.

While we were waiting for the anesthesiologist to come back the contractions got really, really hard to get through. I was concentrating and breathing through each one. The nurse saw how much pain I was in and checked me again and I was already at 8cm! This was like 15 minutes after telling me I was at 5cm. She told Joe to go ahead and call my mom back in and started moving the room around and getting it ready for delivery! I was in shock. To have not made any progress all day and then to be progressing so quickly was crazy. I couldn't believe that I was going to be having a baby soon.

The anesthesiologist came back and turned my epidural back up which made a huge difference in how I felt. By the time he gave me the first bolus of medication I was able to joke with him about "turning it up to 11". He really enjoyed the Spinal Tap reference. He and the nurse monitored me for a few minutes and my blood pressure seemed stable so they left me to rest. About a half an hour later I started to feel nauseous again and was worried about my blood pressure. I called the nurse and told her what was going on. She checked my blood pressure and said it was fine but said that as you get closer to delivery you can sometimes get nauseous. By this time the doctor had made it in and came in to check me. I was completely shocked when she said I was fully dilated and the baby's head was at plus 3 station, meaning he was right there.

The nurse started to get me ready to push and I was worried because my mom hadn't made it back to the hospital yet. But, we weren't waiting. We got set up and the nurse explained the pushing process and on the contraction we were going to start. My mom showed up just in time to start the pushing.

The pushing was out of control! Seriously, oh my God. That shit hurt so freaking bad. Actually, the pushing didn't hurt. I actually felt a lot of relief from the pushing but the in between pushing was horrible. Having to wait for the next contraction was so hard. There was so much pain and pressure that I really just wanted to die. I said several times that I couldn't/didn't want to do it anymore, questioned my desire for a vaginal delivery, and begged for a c-section. All to no avail. The nurse who was there with me was great and really calm but kept trying to make conversation during the wait times. I kept thinking, I wish she would just shut the fuck up. And any time my mom talked I would shush her. And I wouldn't let Joe touch me at all. I got really, really hot and started ripping my hospital gown off so the nurse got a little fan for Joe to point at me and it was like the best breeze I'd ever felt in my life.

I pushed for about an hour total and was just so determined to get the baby out that I was willing to just keep pushing even when I wasn't having a contraction. It just felt better to push. The nurse said I was getting really close and called the doctor in for the last little bit so I knew the end had to be getting near. I was basically laying flat on my back so I couldn't see anything but I could tell in Joe's voice that we were getting close to the end. He was counting and telling me how good I was doing. Then I could feel the baby's head coming out. I'm not gonna lie, it felt like my vagina was ripping open. But once it was out I felt so much better already. I had to hold while the doctor suctioned the baby's mouth and then I pushed one more time and felt his whole body come out. It was a very strange feeling. The doctor did a little more suctioning and then plopped him up on my belly.

I can't even describe the feeling of seeing my baby for the first time. It was a little shock and disbelief that I was holding something that was just inside of me. It was also just so amazing to see his face and to see him moving and breathing and looking around. They left him on my belly for a couple of minutes, let Joe cut the cord and then took him over to get checked out. I delivered the placenta and the doctor had to stitch up a little tear that I'd gotten. After they got Evan cleaned up they brought him back to me and let me hold him on my skin. We tried to breast feed right away but he wasn't quite ready to latch yet. So I just held him and Joe and I just stared at him. It was amazing.

I honestly still cannot believe that I had a baby. I'm still really sore but coping pretty well. I don't know that I'd like to go through this again any time soon. I think I have a little post traumatic stress. LOL But I am so in love with Evan. He just makes me smile every time I look at him. His official stats were 8 pounds 3 ounces 20 inches long born at 3:07am on 8/3/10.