I have to thank my cousin Kristen for inspiring me to take another look at these last three weeks of pregnancy. Up until now I've only been thinking of the miserable part of pregnancy. But, her comment in my last blog really made me stop and think about how lucky I am right now. She said, "Enjoy the last few moments when it is just you and your little man. After he is out, it's who's got him, where is he, is he safe? Now is the time when you know he is safe, where he is, isn't going without."
I never even thought about it that way until reading her comment but it is so true. Here I am complaining about all the ways being pregnant is making me uncomfortable when I should be relishing these last few moments where it is just me and him. Once he's an outside baby, we'll never have these little private moments anymore. It'll no longer be just me who can feel him squirming around or kicking or having the hiccups. It'll no longer be just me who is 100% taking care of him and protecting him and keeping him warm and happy. No, I'll have to share him with the rest of the world. Not that I wouldn't mind somebody else carrying him around for a while right now but to have him all to myself is kind of nice.
I keep saying that I'm just ready for him to be here, that I'm ready to not be pregnant anymore and I think that really comes from being anxious just to finally meet this little human I've been growing for 9 months. I want to see what he'll look like, how big he'll be, what his little personality will be like. I'm just so ready to hold him in my arms and kiss his little fingers and talk to him face to face. I can't wait to look into his eyes and have him look back into mine and to know that me and Joe MADE him. We MADE a HUMAN! It's just so crazy. All these years that I've wanted this more than anything else in the world and now we're a mere 3 weeks from realizing that dream. It truly is a moment I never thought I'd see.
So, thank you Kristen for helping me realize that I need to take time to enjoy these last few moments I have alone with my son.
"The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow, for babies grow up, I've learned to my sorrow. So quiet down cobwebs. Dust go to sleep. I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep." - Ruth Hulburt Hamilton
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1 comment:
Evan is going to be thankful for the great job you've done documenting all these thoughts and feelings.
I love the quote - so sweet and so true!
I can't imagine any greater joy than bringing your child into the world, seeing him for the first time, and like you said, knowing that YOU made him.
Rachael
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