Friday morning bitch fest

I feel like shit today. Not physically, but emotionally. It's one of those days where nothing is/feels right. One of those days where it feels like I just can't win. Keep in mind that I am terribly shallow and not dealing with any REAL issues today, just a bunch of little things that have combined to put me in a really bad mood.

Outwardly, I feel like I'm a big sloppy mess today. I have flakes in my hair from my hair gel, my nail polish is chipped, my eyeliner is all wonky, I have three honking zits on my chin, my tag won't stay tucked in my shirt, and I'm only down .2 pounds this morning. BLAH! I just don't feel pretty or good about myself and that makes me feel unhappy. I really just want to stay home in my pajamas and do nothing all day. I don't want to be at work where I have to smile and be charming and polite to people that I'd really like to give the finger to.

I'm so sick of feeling like I work my ass off at the gym and eat salads constantly and then don't lose weight fast enough. I know this shit takes time but DAMN! At least let me lose a half a pound! .2 pounds is a slap in the face! At this pace, it's going to take a year to lose the 18.2 pounds I have left to lose. I don't want to give up on my diet. I do actually feel better eating this way. My sugar cravings are gone and I like the food that I'm eating. I also really enjoy the feeling of accomplishment I get after working out. It makes me feel a million times better than eating a huge dinner or sitting on the couch watching TV. But the weight loss is the drug. That's the fix I need. I need to see the numbers on the scale going down every week. I need it! I need it so I don't get discouraged.

Maybe if my nail polish was perfect today or if my hair didn't look like I was battling a serious case of dandruff. Maybe if I wasn't breaking out like a hormonal teenager. Maybe if all those things weren't pissing me off this morning I wouldn't feel so bad about the weight loss. Or, maybe because of the weight loss those things are exaggerated today. Either way, it has put me in a bad mood. I need coffee and gossip stat to pull me out of this funk. On my way to visit Perez. Let's hope it helps.