Big Fat Funk

Hey ya'll. Hope you're all doing well out there in the world. Sorry for the lack of posts lately but I have been really unmotivated to do much of anything lately... especially blog. Its hard to be witty and write clever things when I feel so blah. I have an idea what might be causing my funk but, to be honest, its a self diagnosis and is probably not right. I am most likely trying to find an excuse for being a lazy turd.

Things here have been pretty good. Work is kind of weird and tense and stressful since our contract changeover and the lay off of several of my co-workers. After the changeover I just started to see my supervisors and co-workers in a different light. It makes me feel like I'd better mind my p's and q's or its off to the unemployment line for me. They tell me all the time how great they think I am but for some reason it just doesn't seem genuine anymore. Also, since we've lost so many people in our department, the work load has gone way up. Its definitely been a crazy couple of weeks.

I have some exciting things coming up for this weekend. Our team, Patti's Perky Posse will be walking in the Strides Against Breast Cancer walk on Saturday. Thank you so much to everyone who made a donation. Our team greatly overshot our goal of $250 and have raised $450!!! I doubt we'll be bringing home any medals on Saturday but I'm sure we'll have fun. I did read about the funniest and best fundraising idea the other day. A group of students from UCF were raising money for their walk team, while tailgating at the game, with the slogan, "Save Second Base". LOL... So clever. They all wore pink UCF shirts (even the guys) and had a sign up on their tailgating tent that said, "Donate if you like Boobies". I thought that was such a great idea. Good job UCF students!!

Also this weekend, Joe and I have decided were finally going to tackle the landscaping in the front of our house. Wish us luck because this has disaster written all over it! We really have no idea what we're doing. We know we want a palm tree and have already picked out a Fox Tail Palm for one side of the house. We also know that we're going to transplant a Sego Palm from the back yard to the front. We know that our house gets shade for pretty much the whole day so we have to be careful to pick shade-loving plants. But, picking out plants is really hard. We found some that we both agree on but both feel like it might be too bare. I guess we can get in the stuff we know we like and then go from there. I will definitely be posting pictures in the renovation album so check that out this weekend. I just hope we don't go spend a lot of time and money and then have everything die. Fingers crossed!!

I would like to finish out this blog post with a couple of rants that I've been saving up. I was having a rough day at work today and was annoyed by just about everything. I emailed myself from work with a list of things that were pissing me off. Here are a few:

Burnt popcorn- why, oh why, would someone put a bag of popcorn in the microwave and walk away? It says very clearly on the bag to LISTEN for popping and, when it slows, to remove the popcorn from the microwave. And really, how many grown ups are there that have never heard those instructions and/or have experienced a burnt bag of popcorn and know better? I know for a fact that one of my training videos when I started my job was completely dedicated to burning popcorn in the microwave. I hate the way burnt popcorn smells, its terrible and hangs in the air for what seems like hours. Let this be a warning to all of you, stay near the microwave when popping popcorn or it very likely will burn.... and I'll be pissed!

Office parties- office parties can be so annoying. I understand that some people may want to celebrate occasions with their co-workers but sometimes the parties can get out of hand. A lot of times the birthday parties end up like the scene on Office Space where they all have to sing Happy Birthday for Lumberg's birthday... if you haven't seen it you NEED to watch that movie! The parties usually end up with people standing around eating cake and making awkward chit chat. Well, I just got hit with a new party today. On Thursday, my department will be celebrating Boss's Day. Or, "let's see how many people can suck up to the Boss's Day". I didn't get shit for Secretary/Administrative Professional's Day. Not that I wanted to, that's just another party to attend, but still! So, here's the routine, the co-workers start passing around a list of things you can bring. Keep in mind we've already had 3 or 4 parties in the last two months. I've brought broccoli salad to 2, cookies to one and dip to another. And bringing something is such a pain to transport to work and then wash your dish and take it back home... So this time I offered to pitch in money. Well, some dumb bitch has decided that she wants us to pitch in for hot dogs and buns at $5 a piece!! Huh?! I know hot dogs and know they don't cost that much! So, I offered to bring a packet of hot dogs and buns. I'm not financing someone else's groceries for the week!

Pushy a-holes- I understand that by working in a very customer service focused environment that I'll be faced with my share of pushy a-holes. But some pushy a-holes take it a little too far. I had a guy today bring in this huge binder, full of tabs, that he need reproduced THE SAME DAY! I know that a lot of you don't know how much work that is, but its a lot. I took one look at the binder and told him we couldn't do it today, that we could maybe have it done tomorrow. He looked at me and said, "well I really need it today". Well, I'm sorry, you'll have to take it somewhere else then. What, did you think my saying no was just bluff? But, he insisted. So, I took his job in and told him I'd see what we could do. As I was leaving this afternoon his job was still sitting on the counter waiting to be done. And honestly, he probably won't get it tomorrow either. I hate when people are unprepared to do their job and rush in like its my problem. I heard a saying, "lack of preparation on your part does not constitute a rush on my part". You know what makes these pushy a-holes even worse? They'll come in demanding a rush on their work, that they need it ASAP. Then, when we do rush to get it done, they leave it sitting for days, or weeks even, waiting to be picked up. What was the rush, so you could go home early? God, that just pisses me off!

My last two rants are really with myself. Along with my overall feeling of blah I've also been feeling very fat and disgusting. For some reason I'm having an aversion to all healthy foods. I only want to eat junk, fried food, salty, sugary, you name it. I've been choking down bananas and carrots and salad but I'm completely unsatisfied by all of it. Like right now I think I could down several pieces of cake. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) there is no cake in my house. I'm still going to the gym and working really hard but the weight is going nowhere. Actually, that's not true, the weight is going up! Its very frustrating and I don't know what to do. All I want to do is lay around and eat. I've been doing the "whoa is me" and the "its not fair" routines but that gets me nowhere. I don't know where my funk came from but its got me in its fat, greasy grip and it is not letting go.

Maybe new landscaping will help... I'll keep you posted.