Little helpers

As you know, I've been dieting and exercising for about 3 weeks now. I'm sure you also know, I hate dieting and exercising. But I also hate jiggly cottage cheese thighs and a belly that makes me look pregnant when I am so OBVIOUSLY not. So, I'm doing it- no excuses, no bullshit. I have jumped head first into changing my life so that what I'm doing becomes more than a diet and exercise, it becomes my normal lifestyle.

Sounds great, right? Yeah well, it pretty much freaking sucks! I've got 30 years of bad behavior working against me. I know what all the good food tastes like and I know how awesome it feels to lay on the couch and watch TV. Just because I resolved to be healthier doesn't mean those memories just disappear. If anything it makes them seem even better because they are now the things I can't have. I was so overwhelmed with hunger and cravings the other day that I thought the taquitos on the 7-11 billboard looked delicious. Freaking taquitos! I don't even eat taquitos! Dieting definitely brings out the worst in me.

But, after almost three weeks, things are looking up. I do feel better. I am happy with the progress I'm making (5 and a half pounds, thank you very much). My clothes are fitting better, my belly is less bloated, I'm not gasping for air on the elliptical as often... I know I have a long way to go but I feel like I can actually do this. It's a big change for me. Do you realize I haven't eaten Chinese or Mexican food in almost a month?! A MONTH! That, for me, is huge. Chinese was an almost twice a week dinner here. And almost no alcohol either! I treated myself to one light beer on Sunday while we were lounging by the pool. But, other than that, I've been completely dry.

Even though I'm on a diet high right now, I know all too well how hard it has and will be for me to stick with it. There is always going to be a birthday party at work or the scent of McDonald's fries in the air or someone trying to tell you to "go ahead and indulge". So I've developed a few behaviors that have been very helpful to me over the last couple of weeks.

1. Be Prepared. Being starving is a dieter's worst moment. You're ravenous but everything in your house is frozen/needs to be chopped/has a lengthy recipe. The only thing you want to do is eat but the last thing you want to do is cook. Obviously, my first impulse is to go out or to order in. But, that's a dieter's disaster. So instead of letting myself get into that situation, I prepare for the inevitable. Joe and I have been grilling up a bag of chicken at a time so that we can easily pop a chicken breast in the microwave and shred it on a salad or microwave some frozen vegetables and have a meal. It has been a lifesaver more than once.

2. Motivational speaking. You know that voice in your head that's always telling you that you look fat or you not capable of doing something? That bitch has got to go. I know it sounds super corny but you have to talk yourself up. You have to start seeing yourself as strong and capable and in control of your life. It's too easy to give in to that degrading voice and end up sitting on the couch eating cookies. It takes guts to change. I'm a strong, smart, independent and capable woman. I can resist a cookie. It's just a cookie after all. And I am trying VERY hard not to let myself make excuses for why I can't go to the gym. I have a bright orange piece of paper on my computer that just says, "NO EXCUSES", in big black letters. When I'm feeling my resolve waver, I look at that piece of paper and say, "FINE", and I take my butt to the gym.

3. Comparisons. This probably isn't the best advice ever but it helps me a ton. I talk shit about people in my head. I know, I know, it's really mean, but it helps! When co-workers bring in cookies or donuts or bagels or a cake, I help calm my desire by telling myself that they can eat that crap if they want to and get big and fat and disgusting but I will not do it. Watching them eat the stuff I'll just think "oink, oink you big pig". God, reading this sounds so horrible but it really, really helps.

4. Music. I've said on this blog many many times how music motivates me or means different things to me. One HUGE way music helps me is at the gym. I love when a new song comes on and gets me all pumped up. It makes working out just a tiny bit more fun. 'Cause you know that shit ain't fun. But the music gets you through it. Before you know it, you've been on the elliptical for a half hour and you're done.

These past couple of weeks have been rough. There has been some extreme bitchiness, lots of cravings, feelings of doubt, and plenty of shit talking. But, thus far, I have been able to push through and I stand/blog here before you on the right track. I guess the funniest part about it is there isn't a end date on this. This is a forever thing. It has to be. I can't ever go back to the way I was. Sure I'm going to slip up, it's inevitable, but as long as the good stuff becomes my normal I think I'll make it.