Bitch, you ain't cute

So, another month has come and (is almost) gone. I'm still going to the gym after work everyday... well, almost everyday. I've kind of been slacking off in that department. I did manage to make it to the gym at least two days a week for every week except the one that Joe was in Iowa. I skipped that week entirely. My dogs needed me more than my ass needed the elliptical. I still haven't seen any huge reduction in the numbers on the scale but I am noticing little changes here and there in my body. Some areas are tighter than they used to be, so that's good.

I have encountered a new "gym personality" that I wanted to share with you all. Since I've been going to the gym for 4 months now I can usually spot the new people mixed in with the regulars. Well, there is a new girl that's been coming to the gym for a couple of weeks now. Let me just say, I applaud anyone for coming to the gym. That shit is an accomplishment, believe me. However, don't take your first step into the gym and automatically proclaim yourself an expert. I'm trying very hard not to be mean here but you can tell by looking at this girl that it's been a while since she's been to the gym. Again, good for her for getting in there, I'm just saying.

So, my first encounter with this girl was in the locker room. She came in with a friend and they were talking, very loudly, on the other side of the lockers. The "unqualified expert" was telling her friend that they'd take it easy and if her friend needed to stop she could, blah, blah, blah. The friend was just like, "ok, I know", like shut up and leave me alone kind of thing. I don't like to make eye contact with people usually so I just gave the girl a side glance and was surprised to see what this "expert" looked like. It just didn't look like she was someone who should've been giving the advice.

My next encounter with the "expert" was a few days later. I was on the elliptical and there was a girl next to me. Well the "expert" girl comes up and starts talking to my next elliptical neighbor. Now, you already know how annoying I find that, but whatever. I have my ear buds in and have the music pumping and I can still hear her side of the whole conversation. She's telling the girl next to me how it's so great that she's coming to the gym and that one day she'll have flat abs like her. Uh, huh?! I swear you guys, I almost laughed out loud right in her face. I seriously had to stifle my smile. The girl next to me really didn't say anything and was just trying to get back into her work out. Let me just say, the girl's abs are not flat.

The most recent encounter is what has brought on the headline of this blog. I was on the elliptical, minding my own business when, out of the corner of my eye, I saw her step out of the locker room. I'm telling you, I was shocked. This bitch was wearing spandex pants and a tiny spandex tank top and just prancing along like she was Ms. Fitness America or something. I'd like to use a description that I learned years ago from a friend's dad because, I believe, it's the most accurate description of the effect those spandex pants were having on this lady's legs. It looked like a garbage bag full of squirrels running around in there. Just bad. And all the while she's telling her friend how to work out. I've got a lesson for her, leave the spandex home!

You know, I've never understood the self-confidence that some women have. I've seen very large women out and about at Wal-Mart in short shorts or tight jeans and they are just owning that look. I'll usually only go out in public in Bermuda shorts and I'm half the size of some of these ladies. I just don't know where it comes from. I think it's great to have high self esteem, just have a mirror too.