Cocktails and Cake

Well, it's here. Today is the eve of my 29th birthday. I can not believe I'm 29. I don't feel like I'm 29. I don't think I look like I'm 29. But, then again, what do 29 year olds look and act like? When I was young I could never imagine being this age. I would see people in their late twenties and early thirties and just couldn't imagine being that person. Not that there was anything wrong with those people, it just seemed like a lifetime away. But, I guess, it has been a lifetime getting here. It is really just crazy knowing that I am one year away from being thirty. Thirty. Wow.

In the past I've had some trouble with birthdays. I took 25 especially hard. I didn't want to acknowledge that it was happening and I really didn't want anyone else to acknowledge it. It was really hard for me because by that time in my life I had goals set out that I wanted to accomplish and I hadn't yet. I think realizing that gave me the kick in the ass I needed to accomplish those goals but it was hard. It was almost a feeling of failure. But within my 25th year I bought a house and graduated from college and crossed those two huge things off my life's "to-do" list.

I've dreaded turning 29 (and 30). Actually, I think what I dreaded was getting old. But now that it's here I think I'm really ok with it. Really. For the first time in my life I feel at peace with myself. And honestly, I don't feel old at all. I feel like I know what I like and I won't settle for things I don't. I know what makes me happy and what doesn't. I know myself. I get cranky when I don't eat and I can get lost in fashion magazines, I love flare leg jeans and can't even imagine stepping into ultra-trendy skinny jeans. I like singing along to sappy songs and love sunrises. I love nature and floating in my pool. I love my dogs and don't understand people who don't. I take pride in folding my laundry into perfect stacks and I completely loathe cleaning the bathroom. I know that I'm too impatient to straighten my naturally curly hair and know that even though they might pinch my feet I will wear high heels everyday. I know I'm a smart and funny girl. I'm even getting better at realizing that I am a pretty girl. I'm finally ok with my size and no longer yearn to be a size 5. I love my husband and love that he loves me unconditionally. And even though they drive me nuts sometimes I love my family and love that they're close enough to see whenever I want.

Along with knowing my likes and dislikes I also feel as if I've met a lot of my life's goals. Obviously not my entire life's goals because I'm sure I'll keep adding to the list, but the goals I thought I'd accomplish up to this point. I'm a successful person living a comfortable life. How can you complain about that? One huge goal that I haven't accomplished is having a baby but I'm trying so hard not to dwell on that. When I look at the big picture I have a lot to be thankful for. Focusing on the one thing I can't have is really the wrong way to look at my life. I will not live my life based on what might happen in the future. If I've learned one thing in my 29 years its that you can't plan the future. You can prepare for it but you never know how your life is going to turn out and trying to plan too much is just setting yourself up for disappointment when things don't go the way you planned.

I haven't decided what I want to do to celebrate this milestone birthday... the last birthday in my twenties. I feel like it deserves a celebration. We may go stay at a nice hotel in Orlando and go to Pat O'Briens. That's another thing I've learned that I love, singing along at piano bars while drinking neon colored cocktails, relaxing pool side at a fancy hotel and having waiters bring me drinks. But, I think my favorite of all birthday traditions has to be the cake. So, here's to a delicious piece of birthday cake and to 29 years of finding out just who I am. It stinks that it took me 29 years to figure out what makes me happy but, on the bright side, at least it didn't take me 50. Happy Birthday to me!! Everybody have a piece of cake or a neon drink in my honor.