If I knew then...

I heard a song on the radio the other day that got me thinking. It is about writing a letter to yourself in the past and giving your younger self some pointers for the future. I thought it was a cute idea and started thinking of things that I would say to my former self.

I know you're supposed to live your life with no regrets but being young and stupid usually leads to dumb decisions that you do eventually regret. I've had lots of those. I also think that the decisions you make affect future decisions so it's hard to say that I wouldn't have done something in my past because that decision may have led me to where I am today. But, without digging too deep into that philosophical can of worms I want to compose my letter to 14 year old Tricia. I think that's when life got a little complicated for me and I know that I could've used some words of advice to keep me on the straight and narrow.

Dear self,

I know that it is probably hard for you to imagine but I am writing this letter to you as a 28 year old married woman. I wanted to send these words of advice and guidance to you so that, hopefully, you can steer clear of some of the messes that I got into the first time around.

Life is about to get complicated. You're 14 and confused about a lot of things. You're a freshman in high school and made it on to the cheerleading squad for the first time. Boys are starting to notice you more and your increasing popularity is getting stressful. There are some girls in your class that you're making friends with. Stick with them, they're going to be around for a long time.

Be careful with the boys. I know it's nice having the extra attention but don't let them take advantage of you. You're a smart, funny, and pretty girl and any guy worth a damn will wait for you to be ready. If he won't, he wasn't worth it. Please know that you don't have to get physical with a guy for him to like you. He'll probably like you more, and you'll probably like yourself more if you don't. Don't put up with any crap from the guys either. I know it'll feel like you're in love, and you may be, but someone who cheats on you and puts you down doesn't love you. No matter what he says. And you don't need to sneak out of the house to see him even if he insists he can't possibly go one night without seeing you. Don't ditch your girlfriends for a guy either. I know it's tempting and you want to spend every minute with him but you need your friends. They need you too.

Study hard. School may come easy for you now but it won't always. Keep your grades up and dual enroll as much as possible. It'll be easier later. And even though you hate Ms. Rotta more than words, you need to pay attention in economics class. Those fundamentals will help you in college. You may want to visit the guidance counselors some more. Pick their brains for information on how to apply for scholarships. It'll save you from a huge student loan payment later. Also discuss with them options for majors and minors. Really explore what's out there and really think about what you want to do in the future.

Try to stay active. You're going to want to quit cheerleading in your junior year. It'll be because the girl your boyfriend cheated on you with is already on the squad. I know you'll hate her guts but you'll miss out on a lot of fun by quitting the squad. You'll also put on about 15 pounds. Which, unfortunately, turns into a lot more later on. You're not always going to be able to eat pierogies and mac-n-cheese and pizza rolls and cheese puffs (in one afternoon) and not gain weight. Trust me.

I know that it's nice having money to spend but don't work so hard. You'll have plenty of time for a job when you're out of school. Right now you should be enjoying football games and hanging out after school with your friends. Those are things that you'll never get back and that you probably won't do again. Try just a part-time job or maybe just a summer job. Try to save your money too. And don't get credit cards! They are evil and will cause you a lot of agony and struggle later in life. Be happy with what you can afford and save for the things you really want.

Try not to be such a bitch to your family. I know they can be really annoying but you're stuck with them forever and the things you say to them now they'll remember. Try not to let your sisters get you so mad. They know your buttons and know how to push them and they will continue to push them into your adult life so get used to it and get over it. It'll be a lot easier. It's probably best if you don't try to choke them either. I know it's really hard to understand your dad right now. He doesn't always say the right things when you need to hear them but he does love you and will do anything for you. There are certain guys he'd prefer you not date and, while you think he's just being an asshole, it turns out he's right in the end.

There is one guy that you'll meet that you may want to pay extra attention to. He's in your 10th grade Geometry class with you. He's really funny and when he calls you a Jewish hamster, it's just because he likes you. He'll be a great friend and even more someday.

I guess the most important thing that I want to pass on is to not let anyone tell you that you're not special or that you can't do something. It's very hard to recover from letting someone break down your self-esteem. Keep your head up and remember that you are pretty and smart and funny and the people that are worth a damn know that and won't make you feel any other way. So good luck with that. Hopefully when these things come around again you'll be a little more prepared for them.

Love, future you

P.S. When you're ready to have children, see your doctor right away. Waiting isn't worth it.