Glamour List

Several years ago I came across an article in Glamour magazine that I just felt captured me . It's not even an article, it's just a list. But the list was just so perfect and made me really smile on the inside that it's had a prominent place on my bulletin board ever since. I wanted to share it with you because I love it so much. Also, it is a pretty slow news week. There are no celebretards getting DUIs or going to jail or announcing they're pregnant. All I can really report on in that world is that Britney's divorce is final. But with the mess she's been lately I almost wish she was still married. At least then she stayed home and kept her panties on. Anyway, I'm getting off topic. I present to you my most favorite list ever (along with some of my own personal thoughts):

14 Things Every Woman Wants But Doesn't Want to Admit She Wants

1. A boss who totally gets that hair can be an emergency.
(I'd like to add to this one though because I'd also really love a boss that gets that having "nothing" to wear is an emergency as well as having a fat day or having a zit that concealer just won't cover.)

2. All the nitty-gritty details of her girlfriends' sex lives.
(I don't really need ALL the details... more like how often and is it comparable to how often I am.)

3. The epic downfall of every Miss Popularity she's ever known.
(I don't know about EPIC downfall but fat and ugly would be ok.)

4. Shoes that look like Manolos, feel like Nikes and cost like Payless.
(Can I get an Amen?!)

5. A big ol' honking diamond ring.
(Or two)

6. So much money that she can give away half, then lavish the other half on herself guilt free.
(We're talking Bill Gates kinda money here)

7. A lover who just know, no instructions needed.
(Sometimes a little instruction is a good thing)

8. Fries with that. Always.
(Wouldn't it be great if fries were fat and calorie free and were as good for you as broccoli? What a wonderful world it would be.)

9. To be more like her mom.
(I have to object to this one. Just kidding. Mom's can be really aggravating sometimes but they do have a way of making you feel loved when you need it the most.)

10. Thin thighs in 30 days... no, 30 seconds.
(I wish I could just run my hands down my thighs (and stomach) and just squeeze all the fat out through my toenails. Gross, but if it were possible you know you'd be doing it too!)

11. Power. All the power.
(I want the behind-the-scenes power. I want to make you do what I want without having to tell you. Boss- give me a raise! Husband- take out the garbage! Lottery girl- make my numbers come up!)

12. A little girl so she can dress her in patent leather Mary Janes and take her to the ballet.
(Please excuse me while I grab a box of tissues. What I wouldn't give for that!)

13. Breasts that get smaller when she's wearing clothes, bigger when she's not.
(Wouldn't that be great! Perfect fitting clothes and big boobs- it's a win win.)

14. To be caught as a Do.
(I do secretly wish for that!! Also, one of my biggest fears is to be caught as a Don't. How mortifying!)

So, that's the list. I hope it made you all smile as much as it has made me. I plan to keep it stuck to my bulletin board for a long time so that when I need a good, deep down smile it's only a glance away.

***** Ok, brief update.... I just read that Nicole Richie has in fact confirmed her pregnancy to Diane Sawyer. She's 4 months along. How nice, an anorexic drug addict who has just been convicted of a DUI and is going to jail is pregnant. What the hell?!***** for details go to www.perezhilton.com