Miranda, to Carrie's answering machine: Your good friend Miranda has just taken a piece of cake out of the garbage and eaten it. You will probably need this information when you check me into the Betty Crocker Clinic.
Ok, so for today's post I'm going back to the old faithful routine of ripping off Sex and the City quotes and writing my blog about it. I could say it's a tribute to the newly announced Sex and the City movie but it's really just laziness. Also, this quote just really fits today.
Remember a month ago when I said I was going to really try to focus on getting healthy during this break so that when I go back to my fertility treatments I'll have lost weight and gotten healthier? Yeah, it's not really working out that way. I feel like such a slob!
I know a lot of how I feel has to do with my damn polycystic ovaries but I am not doing well. All I want to eat is sugar! I'm like a crazy person when I get around sweets. I got home from work yesterday and ate 3 (THREE!!) cupcakes. That was before I had dinner. Today I ate McDonald's for lunch and it made me feel so disgusting. I've really been cutting back on fast food so I think I shocked my body with all the fat and grease and salt.
I really just don't know what to do to motivate myself. I give myself pep talks every single day. I say, "Self, you need to straighten up. You need to walk and eat vegetables." I need to pull myself away from my TV and get my lazy ass up and exercise. I don't know what I find so fascinating about television. There aren't even any good shows on right now. I get sucked into a cycle... two episodes of 30 Minute Meals, Entertainment Tonight, then Access Hollywood. By that time it's 8:00 and I've been on the couch for 2 hours and I'm tired. Don't ask me what I'm tired from, it's not from the riveting discussions about Paris Hilton and Eva Longoria.
The thing is, I know that when I eat healthy I feel better and I look better. I know that walking after work helps relieve stress and helps me sleep better. I know that I'm a happier person when I feel better about myself and my body. What I don't know is why I can't turn all that knowledge into motivation or will power. Why can I not eat 1 cupcake and be done with them? Why can't I refuse to watch the entertainment shows and exercise instead? Lord knows I read enough freaking gossip during the day on the Internet.
I know I've said it a hundred million times over the years but I am putting my foot down. I am going to eat healthier and I am going to walk after work. If I can't walk because it's raining then I am going to roll out this exercise ball and these hand weights and improvise. I AM GOING TO DO IT!!! I HAVE TO DO IT! It's not just about me anymore, it's about my future. I am fat, hear me roar!
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3 comments:
I know exactly what you are saying. I find myself not even liking the food I am eating but still finishing every bite so I don't throw it away? Why is that? Is it from my being raised by parents who made me "eat everything off my plate"? I eat and eat and then look at my husband who eats egg whites for breakfast and protein shakes for lunch with kashi cereal.
It is too bad you are 1000 miles away or maybe we could motivate each other!
I wish I had a good motivator! I don't know why I can't make myself eat healthier. I guess eating badly is so much easier.
Well, at least it's not just old farts like me. Actually Trish, you sound just like me. Same story, same TV shows, same magazines, same exercise work ethic. Anyhow, since I'm nearing 50 really fast (I can't believe 50 either, 2 years to go), I decided I need to lose 100 pounds before then. So off to the weight-loss surgery clinic I go on 4/25/07. I'm halfway there with all my prior consultations, etc. needed for pre-op. Yep, I'm going for the Lap Band.
Fast forward one week and as I'm discussing with myself my overwhelming desperation to lose weight that I will actually have my stomach surgically tied into a knot (more or less), I must have said out loud, "Do you think I could diet and exercise away 100 pounds?" Much to my surprise, I hear Richard answer, "Yes, and this is how you can do it!" Now I see all my doctors on a regular basis and they pretty much concur that a diet low in carbs (they both recommend South Beach Diet) and exercise is what I need to so. I tell Richard maybe I should buy the South Beach Diet book, but, Richard pretty much dismisses my doctors as being clueless I shouldn't listen to them, I need to do what he tells me to do, which is, cut out the carbs (DUH!)
Now that I am under Doctor Comfort's plan, I weighed in at the surgical clinic at 245 pounds on 4/25 and have already lost nearly 20 pounds (my goal is 5 pounds per month) I'm at 226-227!
So, what is the trick that is finally working for me? Here you go, I weigh myself every morning --- with Richard watching!! Yep, that's right, there is nothing more terrifying than having your husband standing there looking at the scale. Needless to say, I always thought my biggest fear in life was burning to death, but, I must admit, having him standing there looking at that scale --- bring on the gas cans and give me a cigarette, because I now have a new biggest fear! However, this seems to be the motivation I have been missing all my life and it works. As horrible as it may seem, there is nothing more satisfying than having him finally say
"Good Job, I'm proud of you.", instead of, "Do you really think you should eat that?"
We just returned from a mini vacation --- you know eating, shopping, eating, swimming, eating --- and for the first time ever, when I cam home I DIDN'T GAIN ANY WEIGHT. I just made better meal choices while we were away and that's something I'm doing more and more on a regular basis. Good food choices are becoming easier and easier and I figure as a diabetic, it's something I should have been doing as soon as I was diagnosed.
Anyhow, if old, fat, cow of an Aunt Leanne can finally get it right, you can too. I suppose we can blog back and forth or gains and losses if it will help. I could always use the extra support.
Love you, Aunt Leanne
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